Each day we log online. We post on our blogs, we tweet on Twitter and we partake in social networks and online communities. Through our online participation we interact with many people, but how can we really be sure if the people we are interacting with are who they say they are online. Not everyone online is honest.
Perhaps you haven’t given this subject much though, because like me, you want to believe that the people you grow to trust and form relationships with online are genuine.
Recently, an individual deliberately deceived others into believing they were dead, a practice that some are calling Munchausen by internet, a term dubbed by Dr. Marc Feldman.
For several months now members and staff of Today’s Writing online community believed they were communicating with a 40 year old fellow writer.
In October of 2009 this poet’s wife posted a message to our forums, which stated that her husband had been shot in an attempted car high jacking and was in critical condition.
The following day she was informing us that he died that morning.
Several things didn’t seem right with the story, so I asked the alleged wife to provide me with proof of her husband’s death.
I was sent a photo copy of a death certificate with her husband’s name on it (Obviously fake), which lid me to believe that she was previously exaggerating about some prior things and her husband really was dead.
Three months later we learn that this person was using an online identity that they decided to kill off, like the death of some character in a book.
This person obviously used a fake photo, which my son often said looked like the photo of some serial killer. (Who knows, maybe it was.)
The sad thing is that many community members stopped and paid their respects to a fellow writer that they thought they knew, but in truth didn’t really know at all.
Bereaved writers felt sadness and some grieved the loss of an man who faked their passing. The discovery of such deception was devastating for many of us. Some writers cared for this person deeply.
I just can’t understand what motivates a person to do such a thing as to fake their death online.
To pretend to die and then assume the role of the grieving wife is something that I find most disturbing.
Was this person suffering from some sort of disorder that lid them to fake their own death to gain sympathy and attention or do they just get some sort of sick thrill out of watching people grieve.
Either way, the anonymity of the Internet allowed this individual to pretend to be someone they were not.
This individual preyed on a community that truly does care about each people.
This person has already created a new screen name. I wonder how long it will be before they are once again faking death online.
I’ve administrated a website for several years now and this isn’t the first time that I have witnessed such Munchausen by internet.
Not everyone on the internet is truthful that’s for sure.
Tip: Use caution before adding online acquaintances to Facebook, giving out home phone numbers etc, because people are obviously not always who they say they are online.
This individual’s actions has caused me to have my guard up.
Rose DesRochersRose wears many hats. She's a wife, mother, respite worker, proud shih-tzu owner, blogger, published poet, freelance writer, as well as the owner and administrator of Today's Writing Community and Blogger Talk Blog Community. Feel free to contact her with any questions you may have.Rose DesRochers has 1224 post(s) at Rose DesRochers – World Outside My Window
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13 responses so far ↓
Wrote: Jan 19, 2010 at 1:34 am
Hi Rose,
To tell the truth, I’m not concerned if the person I’m interacting online is who they say they are unless money is involver.
Everyone is free to create their own persona. However, I thinking faking your death is going too far and it would be better to just say you’re leaving a particular forum or community, etc.
Gordie´s last blog..Personal Development Through Song: “You’re The Best”.
Rose DesRochers Reply:
January 19th, 2010 at 2:27 pm
Gordie, you wouldn’t be upset or disappointed in the lease if you allowed yourself get close to someone- begin to care about them & then find out they were say a dude? lol
Wrote: Jan 19, 2010 at 2:14 am
Rose, I reckon the fact that the wife went online at all should have been an indicator that something was up. I could die today and none of my online mates would know about it because they wouldn’t be anybody to tell them. My wife certainly wouldn’t go online to to post about it as she doesn’t know of any of my blogs and if she did she wouldn’t know what to do with it.
I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have told his wife his password so that she could post on the forum.
Anyway, it doesn’t surprise me at all that people would do this. There are some pretty sick puppies out there, and I’ve heard of a few cases where people have faked their death even in the real world.
Sire´s last blog..Winners, Those Who Never Give Up
Rose DesRochers Reply:
January 19th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
My husband knows my passwords, so that wasn’t what made me suspicious. lol She said he wrote a poem on his death bed. Who finds inspiration on their death bed?
Wrote: Jan 19, 2010 at 6:01 am
For some reason, this doesn’t surprise me at all. People are strange. And being online allows people to blur their fictional selves with their real ones. All those avatars and Third Life adventures; what’s “real”, anymore?
You might find this story about getting arrested for something posted on Twitter interesting: http://tinyurl.com/yksodg8
Roger Green´s last blog..A is for Africa
Wrote: Jan 19, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Creepy story…you never know who you are talking to online and sure you want to believe they are genuine, but sometimes they are not.
Just FYI I am me. Believe me. Does that help? Probably not. I think it is important with all the scams out there to be honest with people especially online. You are right though you have to watch out for people that try to connect with you say on facebook and other things that you don’t know.
It takes a long time to build trust online.
Jim Hardin´s last blog..Hearty Blog Stock
Wrote: Jan 19, 2010 at 3:47 pm
There was an incident in December [unfortunately it was true] where a child drowned. It was broadcast on Twitter, but not in a bad way. The problem was when another person immediately started taking donations for this family. Red flags went up with some and they questioned the legitimacy of the event. What ensued was a bunch of name-calling & character bashing [on both sides]. Sad really.
The point is, people do tell horrible lies and we should be cautious when responding. And, although in your case no request for donations was made [this time] we should exercise extreme caution when donations are sought. Watching that one incident unfold turned me off a whole group of people and makes me more cautious today.
Anne´s last blog..How to Rid Yourself of Negativity and Let the Happiness Inside
Wrote: Jan 20, 2010 at 12:39 am
@Keith: At least our blogs would live on, at least until the domain ran out
Sire´s last blog..The Honest Truth About The SFI Affiliate
Rose DesRochers Reply:
January 21st, 2010 at 4:39 pm
There’s always Google Cache.
Wrote: Jan 20, 2010 at 1:41 am
Okay, stories don’t get as freaky as that all the time.
Truthfully, I don’t get all that close to a lot of people online. That’s because people can come and go quickly; I look at my blog now and I think the only two people who have consistently commented more than a year are Sire and Dennis. And I’ve communicated with both of them offline as well a few times, so I figure I know they’re real.
Just like in real life, one has to be careful in meeting people and figuring out how they’re representing themselves. I can hardly imagine many people going to the extreme this guy did, but I’m not overly surprised as I think about it. There was this site Sire and I used to participate on that allowed anonymous creations of blogs. You could tell when someone’s purpose there was just to bait others and not really have conversations, so I ignored those people. You also knew when someone added a second persona; at least I did. Most folks aren’t smart enough to carry it off for long; eventually they’ll forget who they’re writing for and the language will give them away.
Still, freaky story you’re telling; wow!
Mitch´s last blog..The World’s Shrinking… Localization And The Foreign Language Web (Guest Post)
Wrote: Jan 20, 2010 at 2:18 am
Hmm.. this is quite disturbing, how could somebody fake death to get attention? So not appropriate. We really need to be aware of who are we communicate with, always remain skeptic when somebody requesting for your details. Using new screen name? oh my, that person should be blocked for good.
@wchingya
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Ching Ya´s last blog..How Blog Review Can Help to Improve Blog Traffic
Wrote: Jan 20, 2010 at 6:53 pm
In one sense, I’m not really surprised by this (although it’s comforting to know that if I died, my dad could log in and tell the world
) but it has made me think.
Until today, I had my contact number visible to friends on Facebook. It’s only my mobile, not the land line, but I’m wondering if I should remove it? We use FB to raise the charity’s profile and as such, accept all friend requests. That’s where my concern about contact numbers stems from.
Rose DesRochers Reply:
January 21st, 2010 at 4:30 pm
Eleanor, I personally would remove it and only provide it when asked for and if I can truly trust the person.