When did the blogosphere become like high school all over again? Lately many blogs have become a platform for name calling and bickering. It has taken me back to my high school days when students were forming cliques picking on one another.
I wasn’t in a clique then and I don’t wish to be part of one now.
I want people to come to my blog, because they find me interesting. I don’t want them to visit because I pissed off some blogger or because I’m part of some blogging clique.
I openly admit that I blog about controversial issues, but I try to refrain from making my blog a place for pointless arguing. I also don’t use controversy as a means of generating traffic. (State your opinion and move on.)
It is okay to disagree with a blogger, but for goodness sake, do it in a way that shows a level of maturity.
When a debate resorts to name calling the person doing the name calling loses all credibility.
You have to ask yourself is this really traffic that you want? Do you want a readership that lives for chaos? (I sure don’t!)
While you may draw people to your blog with your post, you can also scare away readers with the drama and arguing.
Many of us already have enough drama in our daily lives that we don’t need the drama and stress that online activity can bring.
When you buy into other people’s drama you can end up creating drama for yourself that you really don’t need.
There will always be misunderstandings in the blogophere. Sometimes we need to stop and really think is this really blog worthy of ranting about or should we just forget about it and move on.
Rose DesRochersRose wears many hats. She's a wife, mother, respite worker, proud shih-tzu owner, blogger, published poet, freelance writer, as well as the owner and administrator of Today's Writing Community and Blogger Talk Blog Community. Feel free to contact her with any questions you may have.Rose DesRochers has 1216 post(s) at Rose DesRochers – World Outside My Window
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32 responses so far ↓
Wrote: Dec 30, 2009 at 5:29 pm
I think sometimes youn just have to have blinders on, embrace the good and ignore the rest.
Roger Green´s last blog ..Forsooth! A final week of 2009 meme!
Wrote: Dec 30, 2009 at 10:23 pm
I agree with you entirely. I don’t see any reason that fellow bloggers can’t respect one another. It takes quite a bit of effort to keep up a blog. No sense wasting it on ridiculous stuff.
Kidgas´s last blog ..Patience Pays Off ($5 to be Exact)
Wrote: Dec 30, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Amen, sister!
I’ll tell you honestly, though, often people don’t seem able to distinguish between real, civil debate and play ground tantrums. If you respectfully disagree, they start stomping around and crying about how “mean” the disagreeable commenter was.
To say the least, it’s odd behavior.
Alison Moore Smith´s last blog ..6 Steps to Startup with WordPress: The Guide for the Wannabe Blogger
Wrote: Dec 30, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Well said Rose. I’ve always found that people have more respect for you if you can state your opinion without a lot of name calling, and they lose respect if you go the other route.
Then again, it also depends how you go about it. Some do it in a hateful manners, and that’s always bad, and others in joking manner, and if done well you can get away with it.
Sire´s last blog ..Embracing The Difference In Fellow Bloggers
Wrote: Dec 30, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Youre right Rose I mean if people disagree with what you have written thats ok. If they want to make a comment about their disagreement than thats ok too. There was this person that I used to work with that for some reason we never seemed to agree. One thing he told me that I will never forget is “Jim, We can agree to disagree. We may not always agree sometimes but thats ok.”
Sure we all have our own opinions. We are free to state our opinions in a mature way and lets leave it at that.
Wrote: Dec 31, 2009 at 12:13 am
Drama not only increases traffic, as you stated, but the numbers will greatly outweigh the loss of some visitors. That might be worthwhile for some bloggers.
I don’t operate that way but I don’t condemn folks who do. If that’s part of their shtick and their readers are on board with it, power to them.
Wrote: Dec 31, 2009 at 12:28 am
I wish I could’ve said it as eloquently when I used to do a town blog. It got so bad near the end, I shut off comments altogether. But then it got boring just hearing my own voice, so I turned them back on…with a new and improved comment policy. They slowly returned to all the carrying on, though, so I finally gave it up because, like you said, “I didn’t want a readership that lives for chaos.” Shame, it was a great source of info about what was going on in town.
skyetrueheart´s last blog ..feeling safe
Wrote: Dec 31, 2009 at 2:17 am
Well said and a typical kind attitude from a CANADIAN such as yourself. See, Rose? This time I remembered. ;0
Gordie´s last blog ..Look, Mom! My Blog’s Sprouting Pubes!
Wrote: Dec 31, 2009 at 6:38 am
Hi Rose,
It’s not good for bloggers to go head to head with each other at any time. In the last couple of cases like this, I think that one of the bloggers might be having personal issues. In another case, which happened just this morning, the attacking blogger ended up feeling really sorry and apologized.
We all need to mind our own blogs!
Thanks for the post.
@Ileane
Ileane´s last blog ..Fun Twitter Promotions for Your Blog
Wrote: Dec 31, 2009 at 11:56 am
Well stated, Rose. We must always strive for honest communication without personal attacks. I’m the only one allowed to call me names!!
Jannie Funster´s last blog ..I Stenciled A Doll Trunk!
Wrote: Jan 1, 2010 at 12:50 am
I’m definately in it for the new buddies, not for making war-
Some folks have no tolerance for differences of taste…
SnaggleTooth´s last blog ..Bring it On
Wrote: Jan 1, 2010 at 1:10 am
Okay, I’ve gotta be me first, and you can ask Sire about this because I do it to him also.
The word you’re trying to use is “clique”.
Now, after saying that, I agree with most of what you’ve said here. I do admit that every once in awhile I might feel that someone deserves to be called out. It shouldn’t be an every day thing, because if you have to call that many people out you’re living a pretty terrible life.
Having said that, I’ve been following some of the same things you’ve seen. I even kind of wrote one of those posts, and I called the guy out because, oddly enough, he’s the guy who created the firestorm that’s really made everything else kind of ugly. It’s funny how an innocuous post, then an innocuous comment by another person, can turn things on its head.
And yet, oddly enough, every one of those people benefited from it. Sire benefited from it because people who’d never heard of him started writing about him. The guy who caused all the grief benefited because people came out of the woodworks to support and castigate him, and I’m betting his post was probably his most visited post of the year. The next guy who wrote on it definitely benefited from it, then the guy who decided he didn’t like that post, but for a different reason, also seemed to have benefited from it.
Ugliness sometimes breeds success; that’s almost why there’s no such thing as bad publicity. It’s a strange world, one that sometimes I’m not sure I like, but I definitely understand.
Mitch´s last blog ..My Online Goals For 2010, And A Look Back At 2009
Rose DesRochers Reply:
January 1st, 2010 at 11:27 am
I spelled “clique” correctly in my other post and for some reason I thought it was spelled incorrectly here. Oh well! Feel free to be you!
Mitch, This post was not directed at you, or Sire.
Now having said that and seeing how you felt the need to comment on the post you wrote …… I have to wonder sometimes if it’s our place to call people out on things that really don’t involve us? (Oh and FYI: David Risley has a good following, so I don’t think he needed the traffic.
………
I could have easily got caught up in the entire thing involving Sire & Dave as I do have an opinion on it, but it wasn’t my place to blog about it. I commented on both blogs & left it at that.
I really saw no point in dragging the issue to several blogs.
Now………There is such a thing as bad publicity. Negative publicity can damage our reputation. Everything we do online counts towards our reputation. Things can seriously come back to bite us in the tush if we are not careful.
Wrote: Jan 1, 2010 at 6:17 pm
Yep, I can vouch for Mitch, he’s always finding one error or another for which I am very thankful. He’s my spell and grammar checker and he does it all for nothing.
Sire´s last blog ..Google Finishes Off 2009 By Waving The PR Wand
Wrote: Jan 2, 2010 at 12:15 am
I don’t like snarky comments although it isn’t really a problem for me at the moment.
If someone wrote a post I didn’t agree with I’d be more likely to not comment.
And, if someone sent me a definite rude comment I wouldn’t leave it up on my site..
Glen´s last blog ..Bringing In the New Year
Wrote: Jan 2, 2010 at 1:50 am
The readers may look the drama. I have experience in it in my old blog. There are traffic when there a drama in comment form.
Dana @ Blogging Update´s last blog ..Blog in New Year 2010
Rose DesRochers Reply:
January 2nd, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Not sure I follow. Are you saying blog readers like the drama? If a blog has a reader base that lives for chaos as does the author of the blog then by all means continue with the drama, but it won’t be a blog I’ll be visiting.
Wrote: Jan 2, 2010 at 2:09 am
It will be interesting to see if Risley takes a hit based on what’s happened over the last couple of weeks, but I have a feeling that even if he didn’t need the publicity he’ll have benefited from it.
I called him out not for his original statements on Sire’s post, but because he posted a follow up response to Sire with his point of view, thinking that because it was his blog everyone would agree with him, and it didn’t happen.
Now, I’m used to taking a minority point of view here and there (I would be), but I do so knowing that many people who respond aren’t going to agree with the position. In this odd case, it was a direct hit towards my buddy Sire, and it misrepresented his original point of view, and I don’t let anyone take potshots at friends of mine without a valid reason.
But I will also say this. Taking potshots at someone for the express purpose of linkbait is something I don’t condone, and don’t think is fair. There are many people taking shots at Darren Rowse, and I think almost all of them are invalid. In his case, it’s almost like he’s the big celebrity and National Enquirer wants to link him to dating young girls just because they can. That kind of stuff does irk me, and I’ll never partake in any of that, as it’s uncalled for unless they really did something to you. I think he’s a class act.
Mitch´s last blog ..My MySQL Upgrade Battle; The Short Version
Rose DesRochers Reply:
January 2nd, 2010 at 12:14 pm
We’ll just have to agree to disagree here Mitch.
Wrote: Jan 2, 2010 at 2:15 pm
A big No No, when it comes to picking out other bloggers, especially if you do it the wrong way or do not have the tact.
Nothing wrong with writing controversial post. But like all things. Tactful and moderation.
If someone is doing something wrong, by all means let it be known. But too many people get all nasty about it. Remember one can still be respectful.
Then there are those who just can’t take criticism.
But a positive thing about all his is that I can use that to write a positive post on my own blog. Kinda like riding the wave. These types of posts by other bloggers make for excellent writing material.
Robert Bravery´s last blog ..Happy New Year 2010
Wrote: Jan 5, 2010 at 4:10 pm
Maturity and Respect for one another go a long way in this environment.
Our Blog Log´s last blog ..Social Media Marketing And Advertising
Wrote: Jan 12, 2010 at 4:04 pm
Hi Rose,
)
I’ve come to this discussion with a pair of baby eyes. I know nothing of the bickering (but as both a parent and a teacher, I can imagine
However, I appreciated your post because if someone like me were to stumble into the path of all that drama, it would be rather disorientating and not much fun
I just hope the cliques listen to you or just keep themselves to themselves. As my mum always says, if you can’t play nice, don’t play at all!
Eleanor
Eleanor Edwards´s last blog ..Do Paypal really like good causes?
Wrote: Jan 12, 2010 at 6:06 pm
Hi Rose
thanks for sharing this post. Too often people aren’t themseveles. Which sa bad on the web as it is in real life.
Wrote: Jan 13, 2010 at 8:22 am
I agree with everything you say
@The Bickerers – Seriously, it is time to move on to the next big thing if bickering is all that you can do.
A good rule of thumb is to consider whether or not you would say with your mouth what you are typing with your fingers.
Rose DesRochers Reply:
January 13th, 2010 at 8:53 pm
Tell that to the people who feel the need to call names to win a debate.
Wrote: Jan 13, 2010 at 9:41 pm
@Rose DesRochers: The interesting thing is, thinking people will listen to reason. I am guessing that it would be wasted on someone who resorts to name-calling to “score points”.
So long as you maintain your integrity then nothing else matters in the long term.
Geoff´s last blog ..Jan 12, Building Self Esteem – You Can Do It!
Rose DesRochers Reply:
January 13th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
Geoff, The anonymity of the internet has made it just that much worse, because it gives someone the power to attack others with little risk of being caught.
Wrote: Jan 16, 2010 at 9:21 am
There will always be people fascinated by drama and be attracted to it.
Using name calling and personal attacks as a tool to build traffic doesn’t seem like a good long term strategy.The people who come to a blog for that reason are going to keep wanting more of the same.
If that is the kind of site a person wants, then go for it, but don’t expect me to visit. I think that type of writing would get old fast, for both the reader and author.
Michelle
Michelle Licudine´s last blog..I Will Surive!
Wrote: Jan 26, 2010 at 8:46 pm
I’m not one for drama. Seriously I try to avoid it as much as I can but with so much bullying going on online, the last thing I need is someone coming over to my blog to rain insults on me over some truth I wrote or over his/her biased opinion of me or my nationality.
I react and the name calling begins and I don’t rein in the weight of my curses less I explode from so much anger. When I’m a lot calm, I simply go back and remove the section with the name calling etc.
Udegbunam Chukwudi´s last blog..Facebook Naira Free Report Analysis
Rose DesRochers Reply:
January 27th, 2010 at 12:46 am
Sad to hear racism still exists. It’s hard not to get angry as such ignorance.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2010 at 4:42 am
It’s not a racism thing, thank God. I really can’t handle that one. It’s just folks you feel that I’m being a lil bit too truthful and straight forward on my blog and in so doing ruining “business” for them.
Just the other day someone came around and tagged me a scammer just cos I’m Nigerian. WTF!
I totally understand the rage that comes with been scammed (I almost was once) but it’s like calling me a terrorist to my face all cos of the actions of one brainwashed Nigerian.
I’ve always done my best to live by the principles my folks instilled in me and to strive to do what’s right amidst so much corruption BUT having someone come along and insult me, ain’t something I take with arms crossed. I sometimes over react though ;(
P.S: Hope I didn’t just rant on your blog. LOL
Udegbunam Chukwudi´s last blog..How To Properly Configure ReTweet Links & Buttons
Rose DesRochers Reply:
January 27th, 2010 at 12:55 pm
Rant away.