I was taking a look at what terms people use to find their way to my blog after receiving a really strange email through my contact form from someone who fantasizes about me. ( Excuse me while I vomit.) Anyway, I found some really bizarre search terms listed in my stats counter.
Someone from the UK wants to know how to use a duck vibrator. (Hell if I know. I just blogged about the thing.)
Dog sex – Listen here you sick people- I suggest you seek help.
Willie Nelson’s death- Willie Nelson is not dead!
A lot of people at my front door – Add an under quarantine sign to your front door. That should send them running.
Casual Sexual encounters- (None to be found here- Please move along)
How to wear wonderjock – (Heck if I know. I’m guessing you just stuff your equipment in the thing.)
Hello Kitty Sextoy – Maybe they were looking for the “Hello Kitty Vibrator” or they could be looking for The “Hello Kitty condom”. Wait that isn’t a Hello Kitty condom. It is “Hello Kitty Cheese” in a condom package.
Penis Trophy – Hmm- how about a Gee-A-Dick Pet instead. The Gee-A-Dick is like a penis shaped chia pet. Just Add Water and watch your dick grow.
Now for that ’strange email’ from John Rogers who was yahooing me. I had to post the email of course.
i dont know why i fantasize having sex with you, i’m turned-on on your sexy eyes and lips and lovely face.
Should I be flattered? Look John I already have one ass in my pants- I don’t need two.
What weird search terms do people use to find your blog?
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4 responses so far ↓
Wrote: Oct 10, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Oh my God Rose! You certainly receive some very strange search results from your blog that’s for sure.
I am actually considering adding a Under Quarantine sign to our door, maybe it will keep the Jojoba witnesses away from our door?
LOL,
Shawn DesRochers
Wrote: Oct 11, 2007 at 11:45 am
Well, I haven’t received any searches like that. I think some of the strangest ones that I got were in August:
4 hits in August for “rose desrochers”
2 hits for “mommy
1 hit for “gay men”
1 hit for “picture of deer sticking out tongue”
1 hit for “how to curse like a sailor”
and 1 for “august”
Wrote: Oct 11, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Here’s another search phrase from my “Daily Chronicles of the American Civil War”:
which union general was a store clerk before the american civil war began was victorious at fort henry and fort donelson vicksburg and chatanooga promoted to full general and made the general in chief of all union forces in 1864 captured two confederate armies including accepting the surrender of robert e. lee s army at appomattox effectively ending the civil war.
yes, that was one search phrase
Wrote: Oct 12, 2007 at 9:47 am
The last three unexplainable hits:
Ditter Bollen and His Group
monstergoaway
spener owen valley high school cheer girls
Lot of other weird hits, but at least they’re understandable.