17 responses so far ↓

• Peg // Mar 11, 2007 at 7:25 pm

  Hi Rose,

  You ask, What is it that leads today’s teen into this unhealthy life style?

  Even girls in public school are becoming pregnant.

  I honestly believe that the ‘hooking up’ of today’s age, and today’s teens is no different than when I was in high school. And twenty years ago, girls in public school got pregnant. They did, at least in my high school in New Hampshire.

  Not to say it was necessarily out in the open–one girl in particular hid it from everyone until she was admitted to give birth. Sadly, she had also had zero prenatal care, because she truly kept this an intimate secret.

  I would say that today’s teenage sexual behaviour in and of itself is not necessarily dangerous. A lack of education in terms of sexuality, reproduction and the transmission of STDs is where more of the danger lies.

  As the decades go on, the average age of a girl’s first period gets younger and younger, meaning that puberty begins earlier. It would follow that this trend would not be exclusive to females. Bearing that in mind, I don’t find it troubling that kids are more open about their sexuality. Look at all that folks reveal on the internet, nowadays…why wouldn’t our youth be more open about what you and I might consider more private issues?

  Great post, Rose–you’ve really got me thinking about this one!

  Best,
  Peg

• Rose DesRochers // Mar 11, 2007 at 7:51 pm

  I’m not addressing the issue of teens being open about their sexuality.

  Peggy, when I was in high school teens had sex too. Girls also got pregnant.

  One of my friends was sixteen when she got pregnant for her daughter, but things have changed.

  Sure there may be a lower rate of teenage pregnancies now then in 1974, but that is most likely because of the open access to contraceptives.

  Let us not even look at teen Pregnancy, let us look at other factors.

  Today’s youth are educated about sexuality, reproduction and the transmission of STDs, but education does not stop them from having casual sex.

  The vast majority of teens no longer date. They hook up for just sex. It is all about sexual interaction without commitment I think that today’s youth is being damaged by this practice.

  Peggy, I’m curious. Do you have teenage daughters?

• Shawn DesRochers // Mar 11, 2007 at 8:01 pm

  This is a great topic, but I must disagree with the comment above, “Lack of Education”.

  The lack of education is so untrue, today’s youth are taught in public school and secondary school where they are even shown how to put a condom on a banana - yet are youth still proceed to make bad judgment calls.

  Parents and educational teachers are at a battle with youth to prevent the social trend that teens today are facing, as it’s used as a verbal statement on the playground or argued as a bragging right among our teens. It’s a social status that if your not sexually active, your outcaste or not normal..

  Today’s youth are playing the roles of college adults yet their in high school or even worst still in the public school system. Parents are greatly alarmed at the rate of young children venturing this very dangerous path.

  Not only do the parents have to worry about sex, but the dangerous that also arise from promiscuity like STD’s.

  I don’t believe these are bad kids, just kids that have decided to not listen to their educators and their parents. They believe in someway that they are adults and there is no great harm in what they are doing, and this is why we need some different way of approaching this problem.

  Today’s youth don’t even care of the long term or short term of the commitment they may have with the opposite sex before engaging with one another, which makes it even more alarming for Parents as your youth may be far more sexually active then you care to know!

  Today’s teens and youth need to really think of the outcome and the affects of either getting pregnant or being effected by an STD…

  Its so unfair to them as well as having a child of their own will bring such a great burden on their lives and one their not mentally ready to handle or comprehend..

  Shawn DesRochers

• Viola Jaynes // Mar 11, 2007 at 8:02 pm

  I do think this is a problem today. My daughter has a few years to go still but I think educating her very early that her body is private, precious, and holy will hopefully give her a sense of respect for herself. I think education is a huge part of sexuality. TV in my opinion is also a huge reason why young people are wanting to have casual hook ups. It is everywhere…in comercials as well as shows. I just hope that my husband and I will be wise enough to deal with these issues and train both of our children early on the dangers of hooking up with the wrong people and hooking up when the time is not right yet.

  Thanks for sharing this Rose. Great post!

• Peg // Mar 11, 2007 at 8:24 pm

  You see, I think the major difference in our pespectives is this…“Teens no longer date. They hook up for just sex. It is all about sexual interaction without commitment.”

  I think that is a generalization that does not adequately reflect the diversity of today’s youth, nor give credit to those teens that aren’t participating in nothing but ‘the hookup’ that has so many of us over the age of 28 all shook up.

  Casual sex is nothing new, we agree on that! But every generation seems to tell the next one that it’s “different” now. I disagree. At the core, when considering humans as sexual beings, nothing’s changed…except perhaps that I feel far more comfortable discussing things of a sexual nature with the teens in my life than my mother did with me, and she was no innocent when it came to casual and premarital sex.

  And, as a matter of fact, my stepdaughter just celebrated her 15th birthday this past Friday.

• Neal // Mar 11, 2007 at 8:30 pm

  First of all let me state, that I’m a father of a 14 year old son, so this is of great concern to me.

  I personally think that the hooking up is an issue and a sexual trend too. Sex is promoted openly on TV, Movies and through Music. Kids tend to copy what they see or hear. The result is that because they copy, most all sexual encounters are very shallow and self serving.

  I believe this is an issue, because the results are always damaging. Normally it ends with someone contracting an STD or a girl getting pregnant.

  As an alternative, I feel that if masturbation was taught in schools, that perhaps when a couple does come together sexually it will have more meaning. I believe Dr. Joyce Elders(former Surgeon General) was right in promoting this idea.Because the idea of it is such a taboo, no one mentions it being a positive alternative to hooking up. The body has natural biological needs and they have to address in one form or another. We were made to reproduce, so the natural urge is there, once a person leaves puberty. I would rather see a teen address his needs personally, than with a meaningless sexual encounter, that may damage their life forever.

• Carol // Mar 11, 2007 at 8:44 pm

  This is a HUGE Question.
  What is it that leads today’s teen into this unhealthy life style?
  At the risk of angering some parents,which I am one btw. I think much falls on the shoulder of Parents. We are just too busy. Many are from single parent homes where that parent may be working two jobs or working and going to school or…so the kids are left pretty much unsupervised. How else do you fill a void? You fill it up with someone or something else. Hence, alcohol abuse, drug addiction and casual sex. I disagree that this is the same as when I was a kid, I am 50. Kids are engaging in sex at very young ages, laws are being passed forcing kids to be tested for cancer. HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis and STD’s are some bigger concerns then they were when I was a kid. Not to mention that many kids come from homes where the parents may also have issues re: substance abuse, domestic violence and more. Kids are lost today in my opinion, much more so then when I was young and I don’t think that the values in the family are the same.

• Peg // Mar 11, 2007 at 8:47 pm

  and, Shawn to your statement…

  I don’t believe these are bad kids, just kids that have decided to not listen to their educators and their parents. They believe in someway that they are adults and there is no great harm in what they are doing, and this is why we need some different way of approaching this problem.

  How is that different than generations past that wrung their hands over the free love era of the 60’s? Or the young ladies who were revealing their ankles in the 20’s?

  My husband and I teach our children to be independent thinkers, but don’t fool ourselves to believe that they won’t succumb to a certain amount of peer pressure. My job is well-done if I have provided my kids with all the relevant factual information coupled with my own values & morals and they can see, (even when they don’t agree with) my perspective . Which equips them to them to make their own mistakes and learn from them, rather than make the same ones over and over.

  I think honestly, there are two distinct schools of thought on this issue. And clearly, we’re on very different sides of the fence! Nonetheless, I enjoy the discussion, even if neither side can convince the other to embrace their position

  Best to you all,
  Peg

• Ian // Mar 11, 2007 at 8:49 pm

  I think it’s a generational thing. We all thought our parents were stuffy and reserved, and we were the epitome of cool. Now that we’re the parents, the roles have reversed and we’re shocked at the behavior of our children, and they look at us and wonder how people so uncool ever managed to breed them.

  Pendulums swing back and forth over time. Who knows - our children’s grandchildren may be having virtual sex but be deathly afraid of ever having it for real.

  Our society has so many conniptions about sex. God forbid we should ever allow our children to see it! With religious types trying to legislate morality and prohibition, is it any wonder children are experimenting? We already learned prohibition doesn’t work when they tried to outlaw alcohol. It’s not going to work trying to force children not to have sex either.

  I’ll educate my children, because I don’t trust the school system to provide them with enough information. And I’ll make birth control available for them, no questions asked.

  And the best line from a movie relevant to this (from Outside Providence): “Sex is like a Chinese dinner - it ain’t over ’till you both get your cookies.”

  Ian

• Rose DesRochers // Mar 11, 2007 at 8:58 pm

  You can disagree all you like. Obviously your opinions differ from mine and that is ok. Thank you for pointing out my comment. I do not want to stereotype all youth.

  Perhaps I should have worded it “The vast majority of Teens no longer date. They hook up for just sex. It is all about sexual interaction without commitment.” I’ll see I edit my original post.

  Peggy, I have no trouble discussing sex with either of my teens. Sex is not a taboo subject in my house. My son has known where babies have come from since he was 7.

  I understand that teenage sexual urges is normal.

  The issue here is not educating our children about sex. The issue is not teens having sex.

  The issue is teens as young as 14 and 15 bragging that they have already had multiple sexual partners.

  What about Abercrombie and Fitch who marketed a line of thong underpants to ten year olds?

  When I was in high school, both boys and girls were more apt to have sex within a relationship of some sort, conpared to a large percentage of today’s youth who willing have sex with no commitment and like Shawn pointed out as a parent you may be surprised to learn your child may be more sexually active then you care to know.

  Teenagers are at risk not only from pregnancy, AIDS and STDs, but from a mass market encouragement that is telling today’s youth that casual sex is ok as long as the boy straps on a condom.

  Like Shawn pointed out, Parents are in a tough spot. We do our best to educate our children, but what happens when they turn a death ear and enage in something with no consideration to what could result in life altering decisions.

  Peggy, sex education has little or no effect on whether or not teens have random sexual encounters or use contraception.

• Rose DesRochers // Mar 11, 2007 at 9:29 pm

  Peg, in the 60’s hippies became a significant small minority composed mostly of young adults. Open relationships were common among them- adults.

  Again the issue here is NOT teens having sex. The issue is teens having sex with multiple partners. We are not talking about teens who form long term relationships or even short ones for that matter.

  Who says that your children will not make the same mistakes over and over?

  Anyhow, thank you for sharing your views on this.

• Rose DesRochers // Mar 11, 2007 at 9:37 pm

  Ian this topic is not about forcing teens not to have sex. I believe that it is normal for teens to have sexual urges, but I believe that ’sex’ should take place when two are in a committed relationship.

• Rose DesRochers // Mar 11, 2007 at 9:43 pm

  Neal, I could not agree with you more. Many professionals have endorsed masturbation as a recommended form of “safe sex.”

• Jose // Mar 12, 2007 at 1:06 am

  I’m of the opinion that teen age sexual activity is more prevalent today than it was 27 years ago when I was a teenager. Yes, teens were sexually active then, and teen pregnancy was a well publicized issue. But now, teenagers are much more matter of fact about their sexual activity, and it less and less about a boyfriend/girlfriend interaction.

  Sexuality within this society was at one point a more private and taboo issue (it is still taboo today), one not in the public eye. As the society aged and was exposed to an ever increasing flow of information, its sexual activity also increased, and the age of sexually active participants decreased. Just reflect on the prevailing attitudes about sexuality in our society during the passing of each decade from the 1950’s to today.

  I also believe that sexual activity has deep and abiding impact on the the human psyche, and the casualness with which sexuality is treated ingnores this impact. But the impact is there nevertheless.

  I know someone who gave into peer pressure to engage in teenage sexual activity. Now, she is not expected to see her 40th birthday due to complications brougth on by early sexual activity, STDs and Cervical cancer. So yes, it can have a damaging effect.

• Carma Dutra // Mar 12, 2007 at 11:28 pm

  I believe and know that movies, TV and print media help to set the standard for sexual behavior in todays’ world. No doubt.

  One commercial I totally dislike is about herpes. It shows a couple discussing the fact that one of them has herpes and as long as they take the perscribed medicine and/or use a condom, they are not putting their partner at risk. Hello?

  Herpes is an incurable disease and instead of impressing the seriousness of it, TV passes it off as if everything is fine. And people want to know why kids are confused.

  When I was a teen, kids who participated in casual sex were not well respected. The difference between then and now are morals and respect. Where have they gone?

• Peri // Mar 13, 2007 at 7:33 am

  I too am disturbed not by the fact that it is happening, but that it is happening so casually, without any importance being attached to it. Dating used to be fun. The thrill of being asked out, deciding what to wear, sitting in the movie theatre beside the guy you’ve been crushing on, talking about it with your friends later, finding out that you really do like each other, having a boyfriend…these were things that meant you were moving out of your childhood. It was a chance to experience these thoughts, feelings and emotions for the first time.

  Young teens may be armed with all the technical sexual knowledge they need but only time and experience will give them the mental tools they will need to assess their self-worth and make it possible for them to have a truly intimate relationship with another person. The consequences of casual sex at too early an age will have a longer reach than these children can realize, and I don’t mean pregnancy or disease. If there is no value placed on a sexual encounter what exactly is it that they WILL value in their relationships with others? What will they value about themselves?

  A body physically ready and capable of having sex doesn’t recessarily have the equivilant mental and emotional maturity.

• Adam // Mar 14, 2007 at 2:41 pm

  This is really an important issue of concern as a father to a son and a daughter.

  In reply to some guys who commented that there was casual sex during our time too. I agree, but it was bad then as it is now. I know of some guys in Univ. who caught STD after casual one night stands. There might be some who caught the HIV virus too but too scared to reveal it.

  We should get the message across that casual sex is WRONG - full stop.

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