Comments on: Are You Your Own Worst Enemy or Your Own Best Friend http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net/2007/01/29/are-you-your-own-worst-enemy-or-your-own-best-friend/ World Outside my Window is a blog about controversial topics, blogging, humor, daily life, and the world as I see it. Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:57:08 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.5 hourly 1 By: soubriquet http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net/2007/01/29/are-you-your-own-worst-enemy-or-your-own-best-friend/comment-page-1/#comment-23544 soubriquet Sat, 17 Feb 2007 18:24:50 +0000 http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net/2007/01/29/are-you-your-own-worst-enemy-or-your-own-best-friend/#comment-23544 Rose, I came here after reading your comments at Write Stuff. The image of closed cliques, and effectively, bullying in blogland, is a disturbing thought. I left a negative comment on someone's blog, meaning it simply as 'I don't agree with you, I think that item about which you enthused is just plain nasty, not good design and definitely, definitely not worth the money.' Which I now realise to have been an unwise thing to say. Never criticise a woman's purchases. Unfortunately, and not intended by me, the recipient felt that to be a personal attack, and categorised it as hate-mail. So, I've apologised but that doesn't undo the upset I caused. It's made me more sensitive to the interaction here. What dare I say in comments? Can it only be positive reinforcement of a person's self image? Can we never disagree? So far, nobody's thrown a brick at me in my comments. You might. You might dissect and shred something I've posted, what will I then do? Cry myself to sleep? Post a rant against you? or just delete your comment? One thing's for sure, I'll notice, because I'm not farming hundreds of comments. what I'm trying to say, though incoherently so far is that we all choose to do this. Nobody forces us to lay our words out for inspection. It's not the cruel teacher, or class bully who pins our journal to the school notice board for all to see, we did it ourselves. If we need unqualified approbation, then it's likely, by doing this, that we'll all get hurt some time. But I don't really want that. I'd rather have honesty, I'd rather have people say (occasioanally!) that what i just posted is crap, and why they think so. Just as in school I expected to get poor grades for poor work. And I expected to be among the last few picks for sports teams. Anything else would be dishonest, a pretence. We had our own clicque, in our way, the Salon des Refusees, those who march out of step, those who hear a different drum. Those who understood Janis Ian's 'At Seventeen'. Rose,
I came here after reading your comments at Write Stuff.
The image of closed cliques, and effectively, bullying in blogland, is a disturbing thought.
I left a negative comment on someone’s blog, meaning it simply as ‘I don’t agree with you, I
think that item about which you enthused is just plain nasty, not good design and definitely, definitely not worth the money.’
Which I now realise to have been an unwise thing to say. Never criticise a woman’s purchases.
Unfortunately, and not intended by me, the recipient felt that to be a personal attack, and categorised it as hate-mail.
So, I’ve apologised but that doesn’t undo the upset I caused.
It’s made me more sensitive to the interaction here. What dare I say in comments?
Can it only be positive reinforcement of a person’s self image? Can we never disagree?
So far, nobody’s thrown a brick at me in my comments. You might. You might dissect and shred something I’ve posted, what will I then do? Cry myself to sleep? Post a rant against you? or just delete your comment?
One thing’s for sure, I’ll notice, because I’m not farming hundreds of comments.
what I’m trying to say, though incoherently so far is that we all choose to do this. Nobody forces us to lay our words out for inspection.
It’s not the cruel teacher, or class bully who pins our journal to the school notice board for all to see, we did it ourselves.
If we need unqualified approbation, then it’s likely, by doing this, that we’ll all get hurt some time.
But I don’t really want that. I’d rather have honesty, I’d rather have people say (occasioanally!) that what i just posted is crap, and why they think so.
Just as in school I expected to get poor grades for poor work. And I expected to be among the last few picks for sports teams.
Anything else would be dishonest, a pretence.
We had our own clicque, in our way, the Salon des Refusees, those who march out of step, those who hear a different drum.
Those who understood Janis Ian’s ‘At Seventeen’.

]]> By: JHS http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net/2007/01/29/are-you-your-own-worst-enemy-or-your-own-best-friend/comment-page-1/#comment-22077 JHS Fri, 02 Feb 2007 07:19:43 +0000 http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net/2007/01/29/are-you-your-own-worst-enemy-or-your-own-best-friend/#comment-22077 I think I know what you are referring to, Rose. My attitude? Ppppppppffffffffffttttttt. I've never been part of the "in" crowd, so why should I care now? I recently left organized religion behind because I would not go along with the clique and take the popular stance when I knew that to do so was inherently wrong. Guess what? The pastor was the leader of the clique. Screw that nonsense. If nobody visits my blog because I don't play some stupid little games, then I'll just talk to myself. That's ok, 'cuz I like me. I'm pretty good company. :lol: I think I know what you are referring to, Rose.

My attitude? Ppppppppffffffffffttttttt.

I’ve never been part of the “in” crowd, so why should I care now? I recently left organized religion behind because I would not go along with the clique and take the popular stance when I knew that to do so was inherently wrong. Guess what? The pastor was the leader of the clique. Screw that nonsense.

If nobody visits my blog because I don’t play some stupid little games, then I’ll just talk to myself. That’s ok, ‘cuz I like me. I’m pretty good company. :lol:

]]> By: Heather in Beautiful British Columbia http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net/2007/01/29/are-you-your-own-worst-enemy-or-your-own-best-friend/comment-page-1/#comment-21901 Heather in Beautiful British Columbia Tue, 30 Jan 2007 23:00:56 +0000 http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net/2007/01/29/are-you-your-own-worst-enemy-or-your-own-best-friend/#comment-21901 I'm here, reading because I want to be - not because you are in or out - your blog interests me and I'll be back... :) I’m here, reading because I want to be – not because you are in or out – your blog interests me and I’ll be back… :)

]]> By: Rose DesRochers http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net/2007/01/29/are-you-your-own-worst-enemy-or-your-own-best-friend/comment-page-1/#comment-21897 Rose DesRochers Tue, 30 Jan 2007 20:55:00 +0000 http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net/2007/01/29/are-you-your-own-worst-enemy-or-your-own-best-friend/#comment-21897 Laura what a wonderful metaphor and your post gives one much to think about. Thank you for dropping by my blog & I do hope that you'll return. Betty, thank you. :) Top cat thank you for the compliment and the welcome. Crazy Working Mom, thank you. I needed to hear that. Laura what a wonderful metaphor and your post gives one much to think about. Thank you for dropping by my blog & I do hope that you’ll return.

Betty, thank you. :)

Top cat thank you for the compliment and the welcome.

Crazy Working Mom, thank you. I needed to hear that.

]]> By: Betty http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net/2007/01/29/are-you-your-own-worst-enemy-or-your-own-best-friend/comment-page-1/#comment-21894 Betty Tue, 30 Jan 2007 19:44:13 +0000 http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net/2007/01/29/are-you-your-own-worst-enemy-or-your-own-best-friend/#comment-21894 Rose, Thanks for dropping by to say hello. I don't think there is a prettier name in the English language than Rose, because that's one of two favorite flowers of mine. As for cliques, I'm just me, not out to impress anyone. God Bless. Betty Rose,
Thanks for dropping by to say hello.
I don’t think there is a prettier name in the English language than Rose, because that’s one of two favorite flowers of mine.
As for cliques, I’m just me, not out to impress anyone.
God Bless.
Betty

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