There are a few blogs I visit regularly and today I have decided that I will no longer be visiting those blogs. I have noticed a clique forming in the blogosphere and you are either in or you are out.
It has become some popularity contest and you are either with them or you’re the kid in school who never got a Valentine card when the rest of the class did. You’re the kid that never got invited to birthday parties. You’re the loner trying hard to fit in.
I’m not in the in-crowd. Should I care? I’m growing rather tired of trying to impress these bloggers. I am whom I am.
Life can be filled with disappointments if we always need to seek the approval of others.
If you’re like me, and you let people get the best of you then take some time today to read my article that I wrote last July intitled “Are You Your Own Worst Enemy or Your Own Best Friend?”
I reposted it on my website today, because I think that we all need the reminder that we don’t need to live up to other people’s expectations. At the end of the day, you need to be happy with yourself.
Not your scene © 2007 Rose DesRochers
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28 responses so far ↓
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 2:34 pm
Hi Rose, popped in as I saw your name on a few other sites I visited. I went over and read your article re-post. You made some excellent points. We all have to be who we truly are and leave it at that- let the chips fall as they may. Thanks for the reminder.
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 2:37 pm
What an awesome article Rose!!!
One I needed today!!
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 2:54 pm
Thank you so much for this post and the article, I strongly agree with the things you said! Life is too short to waste it trying to be something we’re not. We are who we are, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Rose, thank you for your comments. I have just read your article and found it very uplifting. As someone who has always struggled with self-esteem, it made me feel a lot better. Thank you and keep up the good work.
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Rose, thanks for posting about this. This is exactly how I feel. I’ve never been part of a clique, and anyone who needs to be impressed I wouldn’t consider a true friend.
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 5:54 pm
I used to be my own worst enemy a little bit I think but I decided to change all that this year
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 6:24 pm
Hi Rose, just dropped by to wish you a happy new year! I’m back, and i’m still catching up on emails and bloghopping. I got your invites to Funny monday, and christmas wishes, thanks. I’ll try to get back to blogging schedule soon.
BTW, I agree with you there about cliques. It makes me feel like being in high school again. But then, I just keep reminding myself the reason I started blogging in the first place. For ME. If ME is pleased, then everyone else can do whatever pleases them.
Here’s to another year of blogging!
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 6:36 pm
wouldn’t want to be part of a club that would take me as a member – Groucho Marx.
how true indeed!
xx
pinks
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Very nice post. I could not agree with you more. I am new to this, but I am doing for me and for those who care. Come visit me if you would like. I’d love to hear from you. I’ll bookmark you since I love poetry.
Thanks,
Viola
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Unfortunately the blogosphere is not quite what it used to be. Usually I get disgusted after a while, and just quit posting because…I get tired of it. Blogging is too much like work for me, because it’s what I do.
But then I come back and post for a while, and get tired of it again. Kinda like to come back and see what’s going on.
Unfortunately, it often seems like nothing’s going on. It’s pretty sad.
I personally think that forming cliques is inevitable. And a lot of the times it doesn’t start out that way, but it just ends up that way. We’re all humans, everyone will form cliques. The only person that won’t has no friends, and doesn’t care. (often I like to think that’s me.
)
Well, once again I forgot my original point, because I like to babble. I’m sure I made some kind of point in the middle of all that. Sorry for the entry length comment.
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 10:17 pm
I agree!! I try never to give up my “power”. People won’t treat you badly unless you allow them. Life’s too short for that
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 11:04 pm
First, I did read your blog on ettiquette. Yet, I still really only wanted to comment on the photograph connected to this blog. I study art and tend to be a bit jaded but the photograph that you’ve displayed is lovely. Did you take it yourself?
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 11:06 pm
On second look…is this a painting? Either way, I like the feel of it.
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 1:32 am
Nineveh Menifee thank you. Someone was in a band and they were looking to release an ep they asked my husband or I to make them an album cover and this was just one of my attempts. The photo is several images rendered together and then I gave it a layer effect. I did it in Paint Shop Pro. It is a hobby of mine. It did turn out rather cool didn’t it. I made the image and they disappeared. Here is another one that I did too.
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 6:35 am
I hear where you’re coming from. I spent much of my life as odd man out and have found similar cliques like you describe.
Luckily there are enough nice thoughtful folks out there to balance things out.
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 9:04 am
And maybe I’m naive but I didn’t realize that there is a clique forming on the blogosphere. I guess that means I’m “out” rather than “in”. Cuz if I was “in”, wouldn’t I know it?
If the blogosphere is getting cliquish, that’s too bad. I’m just here to have fun and make friends
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 9:58 am
I visit blogs because I like what the blogger has to say. Some blogs are serious, some are artistic, some are funny and some are all of the above.
I link people because I like their blogs and it is convenient to click and visit.
I never was in the in crowd in school.
I never jump on fads, especially the ones that are supposed to make you look different but then you wind up looking like everyone else so what’s the purpose.
I have the belief if you enjoy a blog and the blogger who posts on it then you should continue visiting that blog but if the blogger makes you feel left out by their comments than it’s a natural instinct to not want to visit anymore.
does this make any sense?
tc
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 11:12 am
Oh, I totally agree with you about the cliques. I have been noticing it more and more and more importantly, I have been turning away from it. I don’t want to be involved in anything like that, I started my blog for me, to journal for me – not to try to be popular ya know.
I loved your article! You are a wonderful writer!
Have a Blessed Day!
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 12:01 pm
I hope you always feel welcome over at Gone to Plaid. I can be no one other than myself, and we should strive to be the best selves we can be, so that we’re happy, not worrying about others.
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Kim I understand completely. I wish I had of kept my distance from these blogger cliques. While I may have lost some of my readership the ones who really enjoyed my blog will return.
It’s sad to say that there are more false friends out there in the blogosphere than true friends and sadly it took having my feelings hurt before I could see that.
Teena, while some might deny, there are definitely cliques and when you say something negative about one of them in the clique it’s seen as attacking & the entire clique turns on you.
Top Cat, I understand completely. I have visited a few blogs where the blogger has had 40 to 100 comments and I definitely feel left out. I hope that I’ve not made anyone here feel that way.
Hammer, I’m seeing that right here in this post.
Yoshi, out of those cliques how many of them are loyal friends?
Viol thank you for the invite. I’m so glad I did visit you.
Lisa, I’m glad you dropped by. I would like to return a visit, but your link is not working.
Tammy, glad you enjoyed the article.
Katie, true so very true.
Joanna, my pleasure.
(((((Jmom)))))))) I have missed you. Welcome back. I hope that you had a nice trip?
Christine, my pleasure and I’m seeing who my true friends are.
Stu, I never saw you as that type of person.
Pink, good quote!
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 2:24 pm
I loved Pink’s comment!
I blog because I want to kinda have a daily joural for my kiddos to look back at when they’re old enough to enjoy it and say, WOW…Mom really is crazy! *LOL* I don’t do it for anyone else but me. Well, sometimes the jokes are intended for others. I have thought sometimes about not doing the Memes because it can become too much work. But, it is a great way to meet other people. But, blogging can consume our lives and to me when it does that its no longer enjoyable and then what’s the point!
All I can say is that I will not let what other people enjoy or read dictate what I like. So, you’re okay in my book. You have your own style and you’re very firm in your opinions. I like that and secretly wish I could be more like you!!
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 2:35 pm
sometimes I have 100 comments but most of them are me.LOL
btw, I really like the pics you photo shopped.
Very nice and they would make terrific album covers.
Never feel left out over here.:)
tc
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 2:42 pm
I run a clique-free blog and lead a clique-free life. My friends are as varied as all the vegetables that are in my crock pot at the moment, for it’s cold outside and this is going to be one delicious meal.
Like you, I’ve noticed cliques forming in the blogosphere, in part because groups of bloggers will find things they all have in common and they’ll gravitate toward each other as friends tend to do. But when they do so at the expense of others, when they only discuss matters pertaining to their group and leave newcomers out, they’ll drag themselves down in the long run.
Variety is the spice of life, and when a group sticks together without breathing new life in it, it will become stale and stagnant in the long run.
Congrats to you for sticking to your own beliefs and following your gut!
Here via Tammy ( KyGal).
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Rose,
Thanks for dropping by to say hello.
I don’t think there is a prettier name in the English language than Rose, because that’s one of two favorite flowers of mine.
As for cliques, I’m just me, not out to impress anyone.
God Bless.
Betty
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 3:55 pm
Laura what a wonderful metaphor and your post gives one much to think about. Thank you for dropping by my blog & I do hope that you’ll return.
Betty, thank you.
Top cat thank you for the compliment and the welcome.
Crazy Working Mom, thank you. I needed to hear that.
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 6:00 pm
I’m here, reading because I want to be – not because you are in or out – your blog interests me and I’ll be back…
Wrote: Feb 2, 2007 at 2:19 am
I think I know what you are referring to, Rose.
My attitude? Ppppppppffffffffffttttttt.
I’ve never been part of the “in” crowd, so why should I care now? I recently left organized religion behind because I would not go along with the clique and take the popular stance when I knew that to do so was inherently wrong. Guess what? The pastor was the leader of the clique. Screw that nonsense.
If nobody visits my blog because I don’t play some stupid little games, then I’ll just talk to myself. That’s ok, ‘cuz I like me. I’m pretty good company.
Wrote: Feb 17, 2007 at 1:24 pm
Rose,
I came here after reading your comments at Write Stuff.
The image of closed cliques, and effectively, bullying in blogland, is a disturbing thought.
I left a negative comment on someone’s blog, meaning it simply as ‘I don’t agree with you, I
think that item about which you enthused is just plain nasty, not good design and definitely, definitely not worth the money.’
Which I now realise to have been an unwise thing to say. Never criticise a woman’s purchases.
Unfortunately, and not intended by me, the recipient felt that to be a personal attack, and categorised it as hate-mail.
So, I’ve apologised but that doesn’t undo the upset I caused.
It’s made me more sensitive to the interaction here. What dare I say in comments?
Can it only be positive reinforcement of a person’s self image? Can we never disagree?
So far, nobody’s thrown a brick at me in my comments. You might. You might dissect and shred something I’ve posted, what will I then do? Cry myself to sleep? Post a rant against you? or just delete your comment?
One thing’s for sure, I’ll notice, because I’m not farming hundreds of comments.
what I’m trying to say, though incoherently so far is that we all choose to do this. Nobody forces us to lay our words out for inspection.
It’s not the cruel teacher, or class bully who pins our journal to the school notice board for all to see, we did it ourselves.
If we need unqualified approbation, then it’s likely, by doing this, that we’ll all get hurt some time.
But I don’t really want that. I’d rather have honesty, I’d rather have people say (occasioanally!) that what i just posted is crap, and why they think so.
Just as in school I expected to get poor grades for poor work. And I expected to be among the last few picks for sports teams.
Anything else would be dishonest, a pretence.
We had our own clicque, in our way, the Salon des Refusees, those who march out of step, those who hear a different drum.
Those who understood Janis Ian’s ‘At Seventeen’.