Blogger I ask you what is it you see when you read me?
Photo © 2006 -2007 Rose DesRochers
Readers play a very important role in ones blog. Over time a blogger develops a fairly close relationship with regular readers. I appreciate those who take the time to read and leave a comment on my blog. I even appreciate those lurking at my blog and commenting from time to time, which brings me to something I want to address.
I’ve talked here before about blogging etiquette and I think that is important to discuss something that I think bothers many bloggers.
Memes like Photo Hunters, Wordless Wednesday, Thursday Thirteen and Friday Feast are an ideal place to meet other bloggers, interact and get the word out about your blog. I have met some wonderful people participating in these weekly memes.
If you have spent time reading and commenting on one of my blog entries than you deserve my respect. You don’t deserve my respect if you left the same comment on the 61 other blogs that you visited.
I was reading an entry the other day where a blogger had lost her husband. She was sharing some things that she treasured dearly. I could not believe the unfeeling comments left on that post. Here are just some of the comments.
“What great shots, they are so pretty.”
“Very beautiful pieces, I love silver jewelry more than gold since a few years.”
“What beautiful jewelry.”
Not one person offered their condolences.
Bloggers are people. Sometimes our blogs reflect our thoughts and inner feelings. Some of our posts are very serious and other times we share amusing things we’ve stumbled upon. Sometimes it takes a great deal of courage to share something so personal, something even as personal as a photo.
Memes are feelings, emotions, thoughts, memories, humor and things that we pass on to you the reader.
Last week on Wordless Wednesday I was going to share a photo that was very personal to me. I decided not to because I worried about what comments might be left.
Let’s put the shoe on the other foot for a moment and think about how you would feel if 61 people who visited your blog all wrote the same thing or how would you feel if you were sharing something personal and those commenting on your blog did not consider your feelings.
Each of us brings something different to the world of blogging. Each of us have different beliefs and opinions. I’m asking you that when you participate in memes that you take the time to read the post. Don’t skim it. If they have posted a photo, take a few moments to study it.
Don’t leave the same comment on everyone’s blog. It is just plain rude and inconsiderate.
Now I realize that my post may ruffle a few feathers in the blogosphere and a few bloggers may no longer visit my blog and that is ok, because I know that many of you most likely feel the same as I do, just never said anything about it.
I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings here. I just want you to consider others’ feelings when commenting.
The blogosphere is made up a group of diverse people from all walks of life. I’m thankful for those I have met through being a participant in weekly memes. My kudos goes out to the bloggers who are the weekly leaders in the memes.
Remember that they take time from their daily lives to offer you something rewarding to participate it.
Next week when commenting on blogs, I ask you to please think before you say anything and if you really don’t know what to say then don’t say anything at all.
Happy Blogging!
If you liked this post, why not buy me a coffee?
RSS
48 responses so far ↓
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 4:23 pm
I was just talking about this the other day with a friend. In the old days (what like 5 years ago or more), memes were just thing you did because your friends did it.
But nowadays, memes are ways to get traffic. This saddens me, and makes me pretty much want to not do memes. Because it’s blogging is not what it used to be.
Of course, I’m probably one of the insensitive people that made comments like above. I really do try to read the posts, but I read all my memes (or most of) during the wee hours of the morning like 2am to 4am. So, sometimes I’m a bit cloudy. I’ll take all responsibility if I was insincere.
Anyways, I forgot my point, but I’m in total agreement with you that people should read the post, not skim it.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 4:27 pm
This is a good point when leaving comments on other peoples blog. I think that most people do not leave those comments to be rude, or even inconsiderate. Have you perhaps considered that they might be in a hurry and just wanted to return the favor of commenting but do not have time to read the whole post.
Of course, it’s probably a whole lot better if they don’t comment at all, but some loves to get comments, so they leave comment.
On Wordless Wednesday…there are tons of spectacular pictures….and really, they leave you wordless. The best you can come up with is “Awesome pictures” because truly, you can’t think of what else to say.
In a perfect world, I’d prefer the thoughtful commenters like the one mentioned in your post. It’s great when you get those people…but busy people who’s just being nice…my jury’s still out on them. If the comments they left is not rude, then I’ve no complaints about them really.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Thank-you for bringing this up.
I totally agree with you – Although I have only played the Photo Hunt for 2 weeks, I have noticed it , too – people writing pretty much the same thing on each blog and then writing “mine’s up!”
I felt like, why bother doing this to meet new people if your interactions don’t mean anything. I did see the post you mentioned, if we are thinking about the same one. I tried to, in my own way, respond with an appropriate comment, as it really took me aback , and I was crying from the poem. I think it is hard to know what to say in these situations, especially as an outsider. I’m not trying to defend the unsensitive comments at all. I only play the Photo Hunt, and didn’t know it was called a Meme! Sometimes it does seem to get a little.. greedy, for lack of better words. But I am grateful for the people’s blogs I discover.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 4:38 pm
I see your point Rose, sometimes though when someone posts something personal, people really don’t know how to respond, especially if it is not a blogger they visit often. I try to visit everyone who visits me as well as visit as many of the sites I can for Photo Hunt and I just did my first Friday Feast, where I also tried to visit as many blogs as time allowed me. Like you I try to leave a personalized comment rather than just the same one for every visit. Yet, at least those who left a comment even if was the same thing, serves a dual purpose, they took the time to comment and they also left a web address so that they could be visited as well.
Personally it bothers me more when someone copies content from my blog without at least acknowledging they read it on my blog. I always try to give a person credit when they have inspired me to write about a topic.
I am glad you brought this topic up though, it’s good to discuss things like this, we always end up a better blogging community when we address concerns.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Shoshana, I appreciate that some may not know what to say and photos can certainly leave one wordless. However you commented “Have you perhaps considered that they might be in a hurry and just wanted to return the favor of commenting but do not have time to read the whole post.” They were in such a hurry that they left the same exact comment on 61 blogs that they visited? They were in a hurry all right. They were in a hurry to comment on all those blogs to get traffic back to theirs. I appreciate that people wish to return the favor of commenting, but I would rather they do it when they have time. Thank you for sharing your opinion.
Stacey , very well put. I too am very grateful for the blogs that I discover and am thankful for those who take the time to visit my blog. This week I’m going to try to make a habit of returning to blogs that visit mine and comment on posts not related to hunts or memes. I challenge everyone to do the same. Maybe we will all make a few friends along the way. I will also be holding Blogging Idol. I appreciate that you took the time to return here today and share your views.
Yoshi, I think that you did a wonderful job just now getting your point across. Thank you.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 4:50 pm
I agree completely Rose.
It’s so obvious when someone goes around pasting the same comment onto 20 blogs, and it can be a little embarrassing at times.
I like to visit lots of blogs on meme days, but if I can’t find anything to say, I don’t.
Never liked the taste of spam myself…
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 4:55 pm
What a beautiful photo! It is a well written post as well. I do get tired of people writing the same comment for everyone, but it is nice to get comments anyway. It is a let-down when you get to the comment, and it isn’t really about anything!
Thanks for the post!
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 4:57 pm
I believe I know which blog you are referring to in your post. And if it is this one, the woman lost her husband some time ago, not just with this post today. And those of us that have been doing the photo hunt for a year now, have all expressed our sympathies to her at the appropriate time.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 5:17 pm
I think you make a valid point, Rose. And I’m sure many of those that commented were not intentionally out for the “hit and run”. But that is how it can be perceived. And I’m sure you will have struck a nerve. I’m equally sure that many will be appalled that they may have overlooked a heartfelt post such as the one you highlight. But then, your post will have served its intended purpose.
We need to be encouraged to think from time to time. Thank you.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 5:19 pm
I’m one of the guilty ones
I’ve been known to skim because I’ve overloaded myself and have too many to look at.
But really that is no excuse
I’m so glad you brought up this subject…and will make it my aim to be a more thoughtful reader and commenter!!
One thing…why do we try to build huge “audiences”…sometimes I feel like I’m in high school and it’s all a popularity contest
I tire of it and I think it is refreshing that you had the strength to address this issue!!
I’m going to send you an email with another “issue” I need help with!
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 5:29 pm
Pat excuse me here, but does that give anyone a right to be insensitive. I lost my daughter 14 years ago and I sure would not want someone leaving an insensitive comment on my blog. Times does not always heal grief, but showing a little compassion to someone means everything to the one grieving. Who says that yesterday was not an appropriate time? Is there really an appropriate time to show compassion? It is all in the wording. If bloggers have already offered their condolences to the lady then that is wonderful, however I just feel more could have been said than “What great shots, they are so pretty.” Of course you have a right to your opinion too. Thank you for taking time to visit my blog & comment and this is about much more than one woman’s blog. I noticed that you only commented on that. It is about all blogs in general, I hope you left my blog knowing that much.
Mari, thank you and yes it is wonderful receiving comments. They sure make you feel good. It is even more wonderful when the comment comes from the heart.
Chris it sure can be. I have decided if the same comment is left on everyones’ blog I will not be publishing it. Thank you for taking time away from your blogging to pop in here.
Lisa, this post was not meant to start a debate or upset anyone. There really is no right or wrong answer here and I respect that everyone will have different feelings on this. I understand that personal problems can leave one speechless. I have visited many blogs & have not known what to say, therefore I say nothing.
Not citing ones source is an entire different ball park and I blogged about that before. I also have an entire post about copyright that you might want to return for.:wink: I hope that we can all discuss this post here as adults and address the concerns that we all may be having as a community of bloggers. Thank you for commenting.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Rory I’m laughing here at your reply as I’m sure that I have hit a many of nerves and I am almost as sure that I will be making one persons blog. I have a strong feeling that this person will blog about me as she tends to each time I’m outspoken.
That is great as I’m not blogging for her. lol I think sometimes we need to be encouraged to think too. Thank you for commenting. 
Tammy, I think we all have. You know what? I’m guilty too. That does not make us bad people and thank you for admitting that you have. I bet almost everyone who comments here has done it. Tammy my door is open any time that you need help and I would rather have a few close readers than a huge list of ones I’m not close to.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Rose, that’s too juicy! Now it’s like Thunderdome!
Oh, calm down, Rory, this is not the occasion – and Rose, if you choose not to publish this inane comment I will completely understand. But I’m sure as heck-fire coming back here to see how this mini-war develops…
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 6:10 pm
rose, first I would like to thank you for asking me to participate in The 10 things I love about the letter..
It was fun and a challenge at the same time.
I usually don’t participate anymore in tagging, or the weekly events which you describe which for me (me only) became more of a weekly chore and no longer fun.
I can understand how people can skim, not that it is right but in the course of trying to visit everyone participating one can be in a hurry.
It is sad insensitive comments were made because of this.
Hopefully your post will cause discussion amongst bloggers to consider the things you’ve written about.
tc
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Thanks for the reminder, Rose. I’ve been blogging for about 5 months now and have been very fortunate with the comments I receive. I can only think of a handful of “generic” comments.
I only participate in one meme – the Thursday Thirteen – because, honestly, I can’t keep up with more than that. I do really well to visit 50 or 60 TT lists a week, but I comment on every one I visit. I would love to read more, but time does not permit and I hate to just race through the roster. Hope your post nudges the blogging universe just a bit.
DK
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 7:03 pm
Phew what a great post and great comments, all with good points.
I know exactly which blog you mean and i was slightly guilty, meaning i picked up on the reason why she had chosen these items, but i dont think i was a sensitive as i could of been.
I dont know why i felt the need to rush through and comment on all the new visitors blogs, I think on this occasion i got carried away.
I have certainly noticed a few certain bloggers who are definitely insensitive and i dont see how they benefit from flying from one blog to the next?
Next time i get a generic comment on one of my posts i will not visit theirs! that will show them.:lol:
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 7:28 pm
There’s nothing wrong with giving us a reminder to remember our manners. I came across a similar one today but it was regarding a ladies Aunt that passed away. I think I was comment #6 and I was surprised I was the first one to offer condolences. I realize that not everyone has the time to leave long comments, but it only takes a second to say “I’m sorry”. I’ll keep this in mind too in the future.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 7:56 pm
It sounds to me like self worth is wrapped up in the number comments received. GAG. Or maybe a bit of a popularity contest? ICK. Sure, I like to know that people are reading, but not enough to go and solicit comments! How incredibly silly and RUDE! After reading this I’m wondering if I’m better off blogging privately. Thanks for opening my eyes to this.
By the way, love the pic., I’ve always loved black and white….I’m kidding, I really looked at it. LOVE IT! I’m not sure if I’ve had one to many glasses of wine or if I’m really seeing faces and toes in the background.
I think I’ll look a bit longer and see what else I can find.
Jamie
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 8:20 pm
Jamie the photo in the blog post is of a woman, a window and morning glories outside her window. I think you best ease up on the wine. Not all bloggers are in it for just the traffic.
ChupieandJsmama, thank you for showing compassion.
Claire, I hope that I am never insensitive to you. Forward, yes! Honest yes, but never insensitive. Please tell me if I am?
DKRaymer, thanks for taking time to comment here.
Top cat I hope it will make us all stop and think. It should no longer be about quantity, but quality.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 8:22 pm
I try to always leave a personal message to a meme I play based upon what is being posted. I agree that there are lots of skimmers out there that want to gain more from how many posts they can tag than what the post is really about.
Now having said that I will admit that I pretty much use the same tag line after writing my comment such as Thanks for visiting today. Happy Saturday or My WW is up. Happy Wednesday.
But I never put just that on any blog I comment at. I always add something pertaining to the post!
But it is a lot of work to go to all the people on the list and I have found I limit my self to no more than 40. I would never get anything done and I want to see what is out there. Not win a popularity contest or gain more traffic for my site!
I always make it a point to try to return a comment to all who comment at my blogs!
But please to all if you see me being a fly by commenter, swat me!
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 8:39 pm
I am hoping that this was FYI meant for me and that you did not think that I am one of those people who jsut “mass comment” because I always read the entry first and say something about it.
I do consider it rude when people say the same thing on different blogs so I don’t do that.
I feel bad that you may think I am one of them. I’m not. And for those people who do that, well, pooh to them. They should know better. But sadly, they dont’ know better.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Kay this post was not directed at you & I’m not sure why you would think that.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 9:20 pm
Thank you so much for this. I know what you’re feeling and I too feel the same. Just like you losing your daughter. Can anyone really feel what is means to a parent losing their child? It would totally unglue me. I always felt that a parent should go before the child, but things like this happens and people need to be more caring to others. In 98 I lost 2 grandbabies who were stillborn. One in Oct. and one in December. I cried everyday for six or seven months. And noone was able to take away the pain in my heart, not even my husband. And I wrote a poem and a song. I still think about it all the time, but at least the pain isn’t as bad as it was before.
So I know the pain you are feeling for your losses. Especially that of your child. No mother should lose a child so young, it is heartbreaking. I still mourn the loss of my husband and it’s been 14 months. But I seek the lord and he gives me stregnth to go on, and I know I have my grandchildren to live for. And my husband left me all his songs that he composed that will keep his memory alive for along time. That is his most precious gift to me. And my son and I are in the process of making a recording of them and we will be doing a tour in the Islands.
I feel so blessed having met good people like you through our blogs. And I have personally met others out there that have done so much for me when my husband was sick and after he passed away.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your caring and friendship. God bless you always.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 10:27 pm
I think I am one of those lurkers you spoke of. You won’t see comments from tonnet but you will see links to you page, thing that has kept since I discovered you Funny Friday.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 10:35 pm
Rose, I think that your post is a very valid one. It really opened my eyes. I must admit that I am guilty of “skimming” posts. I try to get to a lot of blogs because there are a lot of people that I like to keep up with and sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the quantity of it all. You’re right. We have to slow down and take time to realize that when we post it is from the heart and we do hope that people read them in their entirety. Thanks for opening my eyes for sure. I am going to post a link to your post on my blog, if you don’t mind. I think that this is something that more than a few people are guilty of. Thanks for “waking me”. : )
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 10:35 pm
I visit every blog who has commented on mine, not just to say thanks for stopping by, but to see what is going on in their lives. They took the time to visit me so I do the same. I’ve found some really interesting blogs to add to my daily list that way. I look at all their recent postings and try to leave a meaningful comment to let them know that I appreciate the time it took them to write it. Sometimes it’s just “Congrats” but it’s heartfelt.
I participate in about five memes every week. I visit everyone who has visited me. I personalize my comments rather than just saying “Nice picture … mine’s up” on every one. I try to say why the picture grabbed me or share an experience. In addition, I read through their recent postings … I’m not just there for that particular meme … and comment on them.
Wrote: Jan 27, 2007 at 11:44 pm
Hi Rose!
First – thanks for this good lesson! Life always is lesson.
Generally I agree with you, but not exactly. My thoughts are little bit different.
As you inform at “About me”:.
“I’m a published poet and freelance writer. I’ve been writing poetry for some 20 + years”.
Sorry, but I’m not, and my English is my big success, even it is soooo poor. I try write comment from deep of my heart. Sometimes I write the same words but I think it is not bad. I write what I think. Example – “good luck” I write for many people and I really wish 60 or more people in this moment “good luck”. Writing comments take me much much more time than you (reading too) and believe me its embarrass me that I make many errors. But it is easy to do nothing. I try. Blogging is my good lesson and bloogers are my good friends , because they understand me and supported me. And I understand them when sometimes they
were in such a hurry that they left the same exact comment on 61 blogs that they visited. I understand that many many people have problem with “time”. Me too.
And I understand if people don’t like this kind of comments. It is easy explain – not to answer. If somebody don’t answer for my comment (even in a hurry shortly “thanks”) I know what it means and I stop comment him/her.
I am young woman (59) but not for fast study. It is not easy to me and I study by myself. It is not the same as school.
So, do you think that my poor English and my not much experience is such a big problem that I cannot visit and comment. Sometimes visit means – “Good Morning “only and it is nicer than much talking.
Please, look indulgently for this my comment.
Only this one not makes mistake who do nothing.
Thanks for this good and needful lesson.
Take care!
(Guess how long I written this full of errors post?)
Wrote: Jan 28, 2007 at 1:51 am
Hi Rose,
First I’d like to say that I do like your image quite a lot, very nice work. Is it photo or illustration composite? I’m a professional photographer so I know a little about imagery and I’m always interested in process.
Since I’m extraordinarily new to blogging I haven’t really seen the sorts of things you’re describing, but it sounds like you’ve seen quite a bit and you know what you’re talking about.
Such being the case, I’d like to ask a question. You mention memes. I keep coming across that term and some blogs that feature them and I think I understand what they are, but I’m not sure. I’m not even sure how to pronounce it. I’ve wanted to ask someone but didn’t know who. Could you explain memes to me? It’s probably a dumb question and I honestly don’t know if it’s appropriate to ask in a comments column but I’m serious, and I would truly appreciate it.
Wrote: Jan 28, 2007 at 4:03 am
Excellent post, Rose. I agree with you 100%. I always take the time to visit those who have visited my blog, and I try to leave a meaningful message. I don’t always succeed, because sometimes I just don’t have anything to say (their post, list or photo is about something that I truly have no thoughts or opinion on), or their photo truly leaves me wordless. But I never leave the same comment on every blog that I visit.
Sometimes, when I’m visiting someone that I’m not familiar with, and they post something very personal, I just don’t know what to say. I try to say something appropriate, but I’m sure I don’t always succeed. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say.
It may be rather childish of me, but I no longer visit those who just leave a quick “nice post” or “nice photo” and a link to their site. If they aren’t going to take the time to read my post or look at my photo, then I’m not going to take the time to visit their site.
I’ve also had people post comments that clearly reveal that they haven’t read my post, or the caption for a photo. For instance, when I’ve posted pictures of my KITTEN and they say “Nice dog” and that’s their only comment. Or when I posted a picture of a panther, and identified is as such in the caption, and they post “what is that?” or “nice photo of a bear”. I just shake my head at them, because they aren’t really paying attention. (This is referring to people who clearly have a good grasp of the English language from their own blog posts. When it’s someone for whom English is a second or third language, I can understand these sorts of mistakes. Goodness knows I would make similar mistakes with my German!)
Anyhow, Rose, thank you for the reminder not to “comment and run.” You know, I’d rather have a person not comment than post a generic comment. I don’t want or need comments that badly that I’ll happily take any comment at all.
Wrote: Jan 28, 2007 at 8:42 am
I know what you mean. I try to read the entire post and get what the author is saying and comment accordingly.
Nice image at the start of this post too.
Wrote: Jan 28, 2007 at 8:56 pm
I know of which post you speak. some folks may not be comfortable talking about the death but maybe commenting on how nice the items were.
I think condolence comments are often awkward and insincere and sometimes people do the best they can to say something nice in general.
Wrote: Jan 28, 2007 at 8:57 pm
I’ve had days like that, where I’m like “do I really want to post this? What if someone makes me mad with their comment?” and I don’t post it. But then, sometimes I do. Blogging is weird, because it’s somewhat anonymous, but not really. Anyway, I’m trying (badly) to say I feel your pain.
Wrote: Jan 29, 2007 at 8:26 am
Thank you Rose for this eye opener. I admit I’ve been guilty of skimming a few times. I realize that I may have been insensitive on some of my comments in the past. I appreciate this post very much because I realized that a single comment reveals a lot about the commenter.
I enjoy receiving comments on my blog. I received lots of words of sympathy on my last photo hunt when i mentioned about my uncle’s funeral and I admit it was heartwarming to receive all those caring thoughts.
Thank you for making me realize about the significance of making comments on people’s blogs and I’ll try to give more time and attention to each blog I visit next time.
Take care!
Wrote: Jan 30, 2007 at 1:07 pm
Its true that bloggers develop a relationship over time and though that person might be very distant, yet the words that we key in makes it a small world. I know..
There are varieties of people in this world that we live in and we need all of them to make it a balanced circle…same works with blogging as well, i guess..
Emotions shared reflects one’s personality. Your point is valuable, rose. Its better to read 1 blog thoroughly and comment whole heartedly rather than read 10 and leave footprints to increase traffic to their blog..
cheers
d
Wrote: Feb 2, 2007 at 9:21 pm
Rose,
This is the first time I have gotten a chance to read your blog, and I’m thrilled to see your work!. Just so happens I got a full page or so comment yesterday from my 1-26-07 post. I could have reacted to this lengthy, challenging comment but I remembered some advice you had given me a while back. You made a difference in my blogging journey then and again today (all for the positive of course)!
You are appreciated,
Zoe~
Wrote: Feb 2, 2007 at 11:04 pm
Zoe, I’m glad and I appreciate you taking some time today to view my blog.
Tonnet I appreciate you blogging about me and lurking.
David excellent comment my friend.
Rach my pleasure and my condolences to your uncle’s passing.
Carmen thank you and you know I’m glad you came back to my blog.:wink:
Caylnn I no longer visit those blogs either.
Ma you’re welcome.
Wrote: Feb 3, 2007 at 6:51 pm
The Internet makes it easier to reach people but it also makes it easier to be superficial in spectacular new ways.
Wrote: Feb 4, 2007 at 1:26 am
Oh how right you are Jon.
Wrote: Feb 10, 2007 at 7:52 pm
Rose, I am new to the blogging world – in the sense that I originally started chicken-scratch as way for my friends and family to keep in touch with us while my husband, baby daughter and I were in Greece and Italy. A travel blog where we could post pictures and share our experiences rather than send everyone on our mailing list a mass e-mail.
It’s only recently that I’ve started reaching out to blogging community and wanting to reach a larger audience. And like a kid in a candy store, I am experimenting with all the blogging goodies available out there. I don’t post everything I come across, and that’s the beauty of the web. One click, and you end up in an undiscovered country.
I participated in my first TT this past week and my experience has, thus far, been very positive. I intend to continue participating . . .
In many ways, I am like the widowed woman blogger, I recently lost my beloved Mama. I am exploring my grief and my past on my writing blog (among other things). My comments (like yours) are moderated, and it allows me to be selective about what I choose to post.
I agree with you and most of the comments made here (sorry to be late to the party) – that it’s unfortunate that some bloggers use memes like TT only as drivers to their site; that they skim and make superficial comments without paying attention to the content or the context.
I’d rather read a handful of entries and post a handful of well thought out responses. For me, it’s about savouring what’s out there – rather than sampling everything at the buffet.
Thanks for a well-written, thought provoking post.
Wrote: Mar 23, 2007 at 8:59 pm
Rose,
You won’t see this immediately, because you are shutting down tomorrow. I was following up on blogs I found interesting on the TT. Tomorrow, I’ll be challenging the TT participants to show a little link love. My husband spent the day helping me put together an image, so I can try to get people to read the blogs, instead of just zipping around linking. You are one of the five I’m picking as my favorite “new” to me finds.
I enjoy your work.
Wrote: Mar 23, 2007 at 9:29 pm
This Eclectic Life, thanks. I visited your blog and I just love your sense of humor.
Wrote: Apr 9, 2007 at 5:33 am
[...] that I would know, just in case my family or one of my patrons is reading this!). Her post on blogging etiquette is one that everyone out here commenting on blogs should [...]
Wrote: Apr 12, 2007 at 12:29 am
Rose, I am extremely sorry about the loss of your daughter. I cannot imagine how this must still be affecting your life daily. You are in my thoughts.
Thanks for this post — I haven’t heard anyone else talking about this topic.
Wrote: Apr 12, 2007 at 12:41 am
Thank you. The anniversary of her death and her birthday are always the hardest.
Wrote: Jun 28, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Rose, I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the comments example you quoted. It’s real? Oh my. And then the revelation about your own loss below. I’m sorry.
And yet I was not expecting to learn this much personal information about you. Perhaps some people become embarrassed and don’t know what to say under such circumstances? That’s what I would like to believe, but I know that this is hardly an excuse. The internet is such a strange mix of public and private sphere, and people often have a hard time negotiating this landscape. (Oops, another excuse.) The thing I get really disgusted with? Comments on YouTube that tend to make the comments written on the walls of public bathrooms look civil. Anonymity seems to provide a shield for bad behavior. That’s one reason I don’t bother with it. I use my real name, and try to post in a manner of which I do not have to be ashamed.
Long story short, you make good points.
Wrote: Aug 8, 2007 at 7:44 am
Hi, what an informative post. I am happy I found your blog. Just recently, I posted a post in my site about the You comment, I reply movement because I believe that interaction with the readers is important. (I have been actively responding to comments on my blog even before this post, though)
Everyone wants to be heard, the writer and the reader as well.
Wrote: Aug 9, 2007 at 2:03 pm
Rose, blessed love and peaceful greetings from Jamaica. I am learning so much from your writings.
I pray your beloved daughter has had 14 years of soul-rest in the arms of Our Heavenly Father.
I read the above blog post and all the listed comments. Eye opening! It reminded me of a very painful exchange I had with a VP of the company I worked for in America. My granddaughter had recently died and I just returned to work. He stopped by my office, stuck his head in the door and said, “Welcome back, how was your vacation?” When I started to tell him I hadn’t been on vacation, but was off due to a family death, his brisk response was, “We can look at your vacation pictures in the empl0yee lounge at lunch time. Back to work now!” I was stunned, hurt and probably not very productive that day.
As one who is new to blogging, I am learning proper etiquette as I go along. Only recently have I begun to leave comments, but only if I feel strongly touched by what I have read.
Thank you for a gentle, yet firm reminder to mind our manners. Here in Jamaica, country folks call it brought-upsy. Dat dere bwoi nuh have no brought-upsy. Translation: The boy has no manners.
Continue your good works and may you be blessed in your righteous endeavors.
Lady Roots
Wrote: Oct 25, 2009 at 11:27 pm
My goodness! I can’ t imagine how that lady feel after reading the comments. I think she must feel like throwing all those bloggers into the boiling oil.