What makes people so vindictive and hate filled? I’m someone who speaks up, even when it feels uncomfortable and I give so much of myself to other people, very seldom asking for anything in return.
I like to think of myself as a caring person, though I admit that I’ve done things & said things in haste and anger which have hurt people.
I realize that I have over reacted in situations which I should of handle more professionally. I alone am responsible for any wrong doings on my part. I know that for most, angry things said in haste can be very hard to forget and forgive.
But what happens when someone believes that they’ve been victimized and now they seek revenge? Most of their online time is spent with fault-finding and criticism about you.
They post fabricated comments to blogs and forums in an effort to fool anyone who searches for your name that the criticism has validity- which it does not. Most posts are simply made in an effort to belittle you. The individual refuse to acknowledge your achievements and any testimonies in your favor are simply ignored and you’re further humiliated and patronized. They then get others to join in their crusade. The individual convinces themselves that you deserve their harassing treatment. They insist that they have just cause to out you as this horrible person.
I have nothing to hide to my readership. If you were to Google my name this moment, you would come across some posts, which might have you believing that I’m not the caring person that you’ve come to know here at Rose DesRochers- Window outside my World.
I’ve hurt some of these individuals by things, I’ve said out of haste and anger. I’ve also asked for their forgiveness. But the grudge they now hold does not allow them to move past the anger and just forgive.
One certain individual feels she’s on a crusade to make the web safer for individuals like you against supposed cyber harassers like me.
I’m not going to deny that I’ve never had a falling out with someone through email or on the internet. I administrate a website and am assistant-admin at my husband’s website. When you admin a large community you are bound to have the odd disagreement and even parting of bitter ways.
Please remember, there are three sides to every story, His side, Her side and the truth.
In Bishop Lorenzo Moore sermon he says, you cannot do evil for evil. Don’t think you are going to be blessed by hurting the person that is hurting you. It doesn’t work that way. The Bible states: “…. Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despite fully use you, and persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44).
I’m not perfect, I’ve never pretended to be, but I don’t feel I should be made to suffer day in and day out for wrong doings that I’ve done.
I surely am not surfing the internet looking to bring out the skeletons from their closets.
Many times that I’ve lashed out in anger, is because I felt obliged to defend my character.
For once, I like to surf the internet and read a blog about the good things that I’ve done. I just can hear the critics now. I already know what they are going to say. There is nothing good to say about Rose DesRochers. Yada Yada Yada!
Before you read this and think it’s an effort to conn you or win you over to my side- it isn’t.
For those reading this who do not wish to keep an open mind that all stories have three sides- I say to you – I’d like to tell you more about me, but why bother when you’ve already judge me based on something that you read that wasn’t true.
I’m not the victim here. I’ve said things that have hurt certain individuals for that I apologize, but I’ve also been hurt by things said about me.
Remember that I’m not perfect, but who is. I have faults just like you. However one thing that I’m not is a cyber harasser and comments like I wouldn’t let my children around her or her family are nothing more than hateful.
To these individuals I say- you’re so quick to point out my faults, but have you looked in the mirror at your own.
I want to close this post on a positive note, in which I want to ask you to share one thing that you’ve learned.
I’ve learned that no matter how bad you may feel at this very moment life goes on and you can make it with the help of those who believe in you.
If you liked this post, why not buy me a coffee?
RSS
11 responses so far ↓
Wrote: Jun 23, 2006 at 7:58 pm
I just went to google and put a search on your name and .. man.. can I just go hit these people? I mean really! This one guy was going on and on and on about how todays-woman.net is all about making money. Right… I mean come on! And one was going on about the spelling errors people make here. Well I for one don’t have english as a native language/mother tongue so should I just forget about writing in english all together just to save them from seeing any mistakes I make??!!
I feel for you Rose. I really do.
Maan… I would like to ask those people if they feel childish at all. I mean they go on and on about how you should just get on with your life and then they do just the opposite. They go ranting about everything and anything under the sun. And what’s with that typo thing anyway. Everyone does it. No matter if you have an english degree or not. Don’t these people have anything better to do?
Hang in there Rose. Ignore them. Blow the whistle and tell them the time is up. They’re just jealous and petty little things. And for being such ‘adults’ they are not showing any maturity at all.
It’ll blow over and besides all the people that matter KNOW that you are a great and kind person.
Wrote: Jun 23, 2006 at 9:37 pm
Hi Rose,
How you have handled your self with the dignity and self-respect that you have is beyond me. If obsessed people who try to pass their selves of as truth blasted me time after time, I would loose my temper too quickly also. Like I have expressed on one of these sites, it is like bees to the queen bee. They swarm to one site or blog to another and have a fun time letting everyone know just what an evil villain you are. It grows and grows, until these I doubt if the ones doing this even remember one lie from the next it is that bad.
You have the biggest writing communities on the Internet, you obviously don’t have time to be running around from site to site to harass and cause all the trouble they claim you have done. It was easy for me, when I was looking for a writing community, to see who were the aggressors and who is the victim. That is why I joined Todays Woman and felt confident in doing so.
My hat is off to you Rose, because I don’t know how you have handled it.
God Bless,
Merriam
Wrote: Jun 23, 2006 at 9:44 pm
rose, being frank and outright has its pros and cons… if someone doesnt like it, they can take a walk…. its good to be outright frank, at least that way your conscience is clear …( i know
)
be yourself and if the some people of the world doesnt like it, why bother when the rest of the world respects you for it !!!
cheers
God bless
D
Wrote: Jun 23, 2006 at 11:22 pm
Well my friend, I could write a book about all of all the good things I have seen you do and all the help you have given to me too. Sadly, they only wish to hear the negative things about you.
They don’t see the Rose that we know. They don’t see the loving community that we belong to. At Today’s Woman, we are family.
I’ll never forget how you, Shawn and the members sent flowers last month to the funeral home when my dad died. You have been there for me Rose at my time of need. You and Shawn are caring people that I love dearly.
Just like Debra and Punk are thankful that you’ve posted Debra’s poems and sent her flowers during her fight with Cancer.
Becky won’t forget the fact that you and the community send her mother a get well bouquet while in hospital.
They seem to think that we are all blinded by you. Anyone who speaks on your behalf must be drinking the same kool aid as you.
I too have been the subject of attacks from a few of them. As a staff admin I know that my job is not easy. For assistance, look at the situation where I politely asked a member to repost their poem without using all caps. He called me rude and ignorant and all I said was
Hi there, I wanted to write and inform you that all capital letters are not allowed in poems or stories or song lyrics as its considered shouting, so please repost your poem without all the capitals. Ok? Thank you
Steve
I saw nothing rude or ignorant in that.
This Katie person makes Jeff out to be the victim. Jeff is not the victim. I’ve read the emails and I’ve seen what he has done. It was Jeff who posted my name, home address and phone number on his website. It was Jeff that said I was mentally ill. It was Jeff that claimed I was a hacker mean while I can’t even format my own machine.
I’ve been with the community for almost four years now and while at times you may be outspoken, you are loving and caring.
Of course, my reply to you will be attacked but so be it.
Rose you have our friendship, so forget them. I feel honored to be your friend and I’ll always be here for you. (((Hugs)))
Steve
Wrote: Jun 24, 2006 at 3:03 am
Oh really(!) …a fight is it.
*Goes off to look for himself*
(I don’t like dickheadidness)
Wrote: Jun 24, 2006 at 3:14 am
Hi Rose,
I’ve written all my thoughts out in your forum. I would say train yourself to ignore them. Don’t respond. After awhile, these things will wash off you.
I don’t know you very long but when I read what they were saying, I thought, ‘how ridiculous.’ because you were nothing like what they said and implied.
And Rose, what they said did not affect me or change my mind naturally at all in any way about you.
Some people hate you just by looking at your face, for instance .
I mean, in general and where ever is the logic for that kind of thing?
Wrote: Jun 24, 2006 at 4:25 am
On reflection, what a total jurk. Ignore him, he’s not woth it.
Wrote: Jun 24, 2006 at 4:52 pm
Hello Rose, I just like you, and I suspect everyone else, is not perfect, so I am not fit to judge you or anyone else, but what I do know is that you have great inner strength and beauty, and I am not just saying that, I truly mean it. What I always say is, that I dont really care what anyone else in the world thinks about me, as long as I know the truth, that is all that matters to me. In finishing, I will just say what I have said before, you have more friends than you know Rose. My best wishes, respect and admiration. Ken.
Wrote: Jun 25, 2006 at 1:13 pm
Rose,
Everyone has good qualities and bad. None of us were ever appointed to be the judge of anyone. Wherever we go and whatever we do in life there are going to be those that approve and those who criticize. Our biggest critics being those that are closest to us and whom we have helped the most.
I’ve known you for awhile now and have seen nothing but the good that has come from you and your site TW. I’ve been a member of many sites and even moderated a few. Wherever I’ve hung my hat I’ve found those whose sole commitment in life is to cause trouble for others. Unfortunately the sites founder or main administrator seems to become the scapegoat when anything goes wrong.
It’s always easy for me and others to say don’t pay attention to the harassment because it’s not me or them receiving it. I know it hurts but sometimes we have to let the hurt go. In the end truth always prevails. That old saying, “What goes around, comes around,” holds true.
I wish you the best always and pray that your woes be turned to many blessings for all the good that you do.
Your Friend Always,
Paul
Wrote: Jun 27, 2006 at 11:32 pm
Very interesting reading. What planet are these people living on? These people are not acting like adults. I see just how awful they are being and I’m shaking my head. The comments are nothing but mean-spirited, personal attacks. I thought, what’s wrong with these people, why don’t they just shut up. Hopefully, it will all stop soon. Too bad that they can’t see that personal attacks are not the way to go. Just ignore them, maybe they’ll go away. I think that’s the right thing to do. People will read your blog like I did and see what a nice and loving person you are. Keep your head up.
Wrote: Jul 6, 2006 at 10:47 pm
Rosw, Wowser….They must have a very pitiful existence if they can’t find anything more constructive to do then follow your every move on the net……The display of mud slinging being carried on by these Flamers, trolls and baiters is just downright childish and lame…..I feel for you Rose! You cannot even share your views without being attacked…..It is childish how the group of them gang up together against you and Shawn………Have they never looked in the mirror and accepted their own faults?……Rose look beyond all the hate….. You have many folks who luv ya….
Mugs [Tom]