From the first time that I brought my daughter through that door- I learned that there were a lot of people waiting to tell me how to raise her. When I had my son those same people were still there telling me how to raise him.
My mother-in-law, she was the worst of all. The thing that got me was that she never raised her children-someone else did it for her. Therefore, what made her an expert?
Then you have your non parents who think they are an expert.
I know that they might mean well, but what made them an expert on child-rearing?
Recently I received the following comment concerning “The Deleting Online Predators Act.”
A recap- The proposed bill known as the “The Deleting Online Predators Act” was introduced by Michael G. Fitzpatrick.
The bill known as the Deleting Online Predators Act of 2006 – according to Michael G. Fitzpatrick would help prevent online predators from accessing children over the Internet if they were not allowed access to social Web sites on public school or library computers.
Iwannaknow comments on this are
“I am very concerned about the dangers of sites like myspace, but at the same time realize that getting the government involved in yet another issue is not the answer. The internet is a tool like any other and it can be used for good or evil. Myspace is simply another tool that can be used for good things or bad things.
Getting the government involved is in my opinion both helping to increase the size and scope of the government even further (which is very dangerous because at least in the USA our nation is becoming close to a tyranny) and is taking responsibility away from parents.”
Iwannaknow, we are talking about a website when created, was geared at college age students and adults. Since then it has become a social hot spot for teens.
Myspace attracts an estimated 180000 sign-ups each day. It’s true that sexual predators have been utilizing the internet way before Myspace, however MySpace has now become their playground.
Concerned about reports of pedophiles trolling MySpace, Michael G. Fitzpatrick is doing something about it.
I strongly believe the man should be applauded. Parents cannot be with their children 24/7.
Steps must be taken to create a safe environment for our children. Our city streets are policed; therefore the super highway of the internet should have restrictions.
I was reading an article today that said “Thanks to the proliferation of spam, child porn and other “evil” online, there will be an increasing demand for governments to tame the wild web.”
All I can say is that it is about time and I realize that everyone will have a different point of view on this and I don’t expect you to think as I do. I also don’t wish for this to turn into a political debate.
There is no right or wrong point of view here and all I ask is that you try to look at this from a parent’s point of view.
Iwannaknow, you also said “According to my faith I am supposed to raise my child (I have never been married and currently have no children so this is if I ever have a family and children) in the teachings of Christ. Part of this is teaching my children right from wrong. It would be my duty to at least do everything in my power to not allow my children to use tools like myspace in irresponsible ways.”
“Personally, I don’t know if I would let a young child of mine use the internet at all, period. If I had a teenage child I would hope to have that child so busy with church acitivities that there would be no idle time for stuff like myspace.”
Let me reply to this.
Despite, all the dangers of the internet, it is a positive tool if used properly. The one reason that parents purchase a computer, that is so that children might use it for education purposes. Almost all students access the internet from school. Despite how involved your children are in school, church and social activities, I’m now sure how you could possibly restrict their use of a computer, when computers are the wave of our future. I agree that it is our job as parents to guide our children, nurture them, teach them good manners and install in them morals at the same time teach them life long survival skills.
However, as a mother of two teens and having been a teen at one point in my life- I know as well as you should, even if you’re not a parent with teenagers that teenagers will test the limits. That’s just the way that it is. Even young children rebel.
Being the parent of a teen is challenging. They are trying to find their place in society, then there are all the restrictions at home-at school- in the work place and then they are dealing with peer pressure and trying to fit in.
It’s natural for us to want to rescue our children. We don’t want to see them make the same mistakes that we did. But, I believe that our mistakes have made us who we are today. A parent’s job is never done and as our children grows and develops into young adults-they are going to make mistakes. Learning from those mistakes can be a wonderful teacher. As parents it’s up to us to inform them about the consequences of their actions and then let them learn on their own, in most cases they will see that Mom and Dad were right.
I don’t in anyway mean that you should allow your child to put themselves in harms way, but there are just some things that they need to learn on their own.
With that said, there is discipline that comes as a result of not listing to Mom and Dad and that’s part of the consequences. When you punish- I’ve learned that you must stick to the punishment. By giving in-they are in no way learning.
From the time that your child begins to walk, “no” becomes apart of your vocabulary and I believe that you continue to say “no” right into those teenage years. It’s all apart what is known as “tough love.”
It all comes down to loving your child unconditionally and despite the mistakes they will make- they are still your child.
One last note, Iwannaknow you said,
“Of course I realize that you cannot force morals on a child. But in reality I think there is a lot more many parents can be doing themselves instead of passing the responsibility onto the government.”
We cannot place all the blame on the parent. Children must take responsibility for their actions. Like I commented previously, we cannot watch our child 24/ 7. Because we cannot watch our children 24/7 and because teens will test authority, there has to be restrictions.
As I said I’m the mother of two teens and I do my best to guide my children, nurture them, teach them good manners and install in them morals, however I’m up against pear pressure and the fact that teens do not want to listen to their parents, teachers and other adults that have told them that their will be consequences to their actions.
Don’t you know that teens are at that age where they think that they know it all?
If the government at last is going to step in and pass a bill that will protect children, I’m all for it.
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7 responses so far ↓
Wrote: May 19, 2006 at 4:22 pm
I also have a strong desire for children to be protected, but I hope think that every other alternative should be utilized before the government becomes involved.
Personally, I wonder if an organization was started to harnass the energies of lets say a million parents just as concerned as you are in an effort to ask myspace to restrict their site if it would have any success. Additionally, perhaps parents who are concerned about myspace could periodically remind one another to check their children’s websites? If a campaign was started by parents themselves to alert other parents about this issue could that have an effect?
This is a serious issue, and I hope that parents around the nation are taking action. There are many things they need to do, but I hope the very last thing is get the government involved.
Basically, if a child has access to the internet at all there are many tools he or she can use to get into trouble. There are chatrooms, blogs, bulletin boards, email, and other technologies that are dangerous. In today’s age there is even video and audio chat with many messaging services! Teenagers could easily get into trouble with these as well. And predators could use them to find victims. Also, look at Cell Phones. They give children the ability to use the phone unsupervised!
If you really want to ensure your children’s absolute online safety you have to options. You can have the government regulate every aspect of the above and restrict anyone under the age of 18 from utilizing ALL of them or take your child off the internet all together.
Personally, as a Libertarian I cannot see the move to restrict myspace as being principled. Because it would be unfairly targetting one tool that can be used for evil when there are many more that could be used as well. If myspace is to be restricted then every chatroom, blog, discussion forum, bulletin board, and message service should be restricted in the same exact way. Anything else would be unfair to myspace. It is wrong to have double standards.
But as a Libertarian having the government restrict all those sites (even if I don’t know if I would let my child have access to the internet at all as a young teenager) is downright close to tyranny.
I honestly feel that the only viable solution to this issue that does not violate people’s rights is for parents to restrict their child’s internet activities and take a more active roll in supervising *everything* they do online. Additionally, the second part of the solution would be for parents to form organiations that actively lobby internet communication tools to voluntarily restrict access.
You see, if they are FORCED to restrict access then their rights are being violated. But if they are encouraged by massive numbers of people to do so then it is still their own choice, and if they chooe to do so their rights have NOT been violated.
There is a quote I really, really like. Let me see if I remember it, “If you give the government the power to keep you absolutely safe you are also giving them the power to take away absolutely everything you have.”
No one is going to be completely safe in this world. And despite our best efforts just like you said children are going to rebel to some degree. I honestly don’t know if I ever want children (even though I like children) because I realize the huge responsibility it means and the fact that this world is more dangerous than ever.
But ultimately if the world is corrupt the government is not going to make it better. Only loving Christian people respecting, watching out for, and cooperating to protect each other and their families will make this world safer.
When you give the government an inch they take a literal mile and if we gave them the power you suggest to violate the rights of certain people then it is just another step towards them regulating lets say Christian speech online, what they think is distasteful political speech online, or creating new sedition laws.
Basically, to create a safer internet huge portions of it would have to be severely restricted. If it is done voluntarily that is a good thing, but if it is due to government regulation then the influence of politicians will make it worthless.
Wrote: May 19, 2006 at 5:40 pm
Over 76 million people are registered on Myspace alone. Again you are not a parent, but like to tell parents how to parent. What makes you speak as an expert on child rearing?
Obviously you did not read the article, therefore you look pretty foolish. The news law, would not just put restriction on myspace, it would place restriction on chatrooms and forum boards.
There is no double standard here and had you read before responding, you would see that.
The bill would ban anyone under 18 from accessing social networking sites at schools & libraries where children are often unsupervised. Do you recommend that we go to school with our children and the library?
When it comes to the internet and websites like MySpace, Forum Boards Etc rights should be restricted.
The liberals were the same ones that voted against upping the age of sexual consent in Canada. I do not have much good to say about liberals, but I refuse to turn my concern for the well being of children into your political debate.
Wrote: May 19, 2006 at 9:33 pm
i dont have kids
but i know that technology these days can harm kids
my space isnt popular here…
and the problem is about cellphone, many kids have pornographic pictures on their camera cell phone. and this is not good, also like the my space problem, parent must aware in controlling their kids
Wrote: May 20, 2006 at 12:46 am
I admit I got into some trouble when i was fifteen. Things have sure changed in 15 years. Kids now ignore the fact that the personal information they’re giving out can put them in danger. There are a lot of sickos out there. If you’re a mother or father, you got to watch your kid like a hawk when they’re on the computer. I’m not a big fan of these network sites myself. It’s good that there doing something about the internet. I think kids under the age of 18 shouldn’t be allowed on these network sites, but that’s just my opinion.
Wrote: May 20, 2006 at 10:21 pm
Well I definetely think the internet is a wonderful tool for children provided it is used right, but we have to protect our children at all costs.
And like you stated my friend that the city streets are policed why isn’t the world wide web? we have to make sure predators can’t prey on our children and I am in favor of anything that will help keep the children safe ((HUGS))
Wrote: May 22, 2006 at 2:56 pm
While I agree that some restrictions should be placed onto sites such as Myspace, kids can get past these restrictions by lying about their age. Also, some kids (high schoolers) are in some kind of Running Start program, and since they have college IDs, many people assume they’re over the age of 18. Granted the restrictions wouldn’t require some kind of ID, only a credit card to verify their age. I have seen this kind of restriction, but it is still easy to fool the system, and since teens are smart, they will figure out how to slip past the walls.
I am the mother of two little ones, and I dread the day they grow up into teens, mainly because I know how I was when I was a teen. Teens do test the limits, but with a firm hand and careful monitering they can grow up safe and sound. By not allowing children to have computers in their rooms (keeping the computer in a main room such as the living room or family room), and limiting the time they spend on the internet, children can be kept safe from most preditors.
We may not be able to watch our kids 24/7, but we can do everything in our power to keep them safe when we can’t be there. By allowing the government to raise and protect our children for us, we risk not knowing our kids at all.
Wrote: May 22, 2006 at 4:20 pm
Tom, I couldn’t agree more. I do not think that these network sites are a place teens should be.
Steve, one of the core problems is teens know the risk is there, however they ignore the risk. One of the core problems is that some teens are posting revealing photos and discussing sexual activities, not to mention the problem of posting too much information about themselves.
According to what I’ve been following in the news Myspace has already been banned from many schools, however you still get “those parents” like Morgon here, who just doesn’t see the issue of why we need government to step in.
Morgan, with a firm hand? Let me clarify what you mean by that. Are you in favor of spanking? I disagree; I don’t believe that they need a firm hand. I believe that they need a loving hand.
With that said, I agree 100 % with your comment “By not allowing children to have computers in their rooms (keeping the computer in a main room such as the living room or family room), and limiting the time they spend on the internet, children can be kept safe from most predators.”
My computer, which both my children use to access the internet, is located in the living room. They are unable to use the net without my supervision or dad.
However, the issue that Michael G. Fitzpatrick is addressing is not the access to networking sites like MySpace from home.
It is the access of these sites from libraries and school.
You’re right we can do everything in our power to keep them safe when we are there, however we can also do everything in our power to keep them protected when we are not there by supporting Michael G. Fitzpatrick in the” Deleting Online Predators Act of 2006,”
Off topic, Morgan I prefer if you didn’t comment on my blog. After all, after your last comments I had to ban you from accessing my main website and I do know who you are. An internet search for your email revealed that information.